The Truth About Speaking My Own Truth

Have you ever had trouble speaking your truth? Did you ever had to chew down your words, hide your opinion or not share what's really on your mind? And this isn't just about "how you feel about something" but how you feel about yourself, your own truth and wisdom about something that you may be going though. Maybe you feel that the people around you won't get it, people will think you're crazy or even get a negative response from others about your own feelings.

Maybe it's not about what other people think that scares us, but what we think about ourselves about speaking our truth.

We often  place the blame for others that "we can't speak our truth" when it's ourselves that don't let us speak our own truth.

Since overhauling my life and discovering more and more about myself in all ways, my need and desire to speak my own truth have become a blessing and a challenge. Accepting who I am as a soul and spirit has been the hardest challenge I had to face on my own, simply because I don't let myself fully believe.

When I say that, I go "Of course I believe!" but do I really? All the wonderful things that the angels said about me and the beautiful picture of grace that I felt for myself, is that truly who I am, or something I simply want to put faith in? What will other's think about these stories, this magical journey (laced with frustration and struggle) and life that I keep from others? As much as I want to share them, my inner child wants them hidden, out of fear from both sides of the field. From both being ridiculed and falling in love with the magic she fears that might not be true.

I often wonder what people will think, but it's not about what people think but what I think. I want to go bat shit crazy with my ideas, concepts and creativity only to be halted by my own fears.

Fear has it positive uses, I know that, but I'm using fear as an excuse to not be who I am fully. To hide myself again from my own beauty, something that the angels never kept from me. If I was half as bold as them I would probably be on T.V because of the insane stuff I would share, but I don't, out of fear and I have to break that cycle.

My journey have taken me to places in myself that I couldn't imagine going. Day after day more and more of myself becomes unveiled to me, making me a stronger more confident person. I get a bigger glimpse of my purpose and why my life has been the way it has. And then of course, I ask the tougher questions. My past life, not on earth but in divinity. Where does that tie in? Who was I before I came down here? Why did I decide to leave, really? The books, information and articles I read makes sense, but I'm always left with more questions because I want to know my own personal reasons and how they are tied to the various things I was shown.

I probably know a lot more about my spiritual self then a lot of other folks that are looking for it, and I should be thankful I have such heavy ties with my heavenly and cosmic bothers and sisters. I can't help but to know who I am fully, the pieces I was shown are awesome in nature but always leads me to more questions.

Did I come from heaven, am I an incarnated angel, fairy or goddess? Did I directly come from source then placed in a body? How does that tie into being a crystal child? What was my duties before I came here? How exactly am I suppose to change the world? So many questions with so many pieces that leads to even more questions.

What am I suppose to do with this information? Share it? What happens if I do? What will people think? Will I scare off people? How will this effect me and my personal life?

Those are the core questions that comes up to me daily when I think about "expressing who I really am"...

All in all however, no matter who or what happens in my path... It's up to ME to fully believe in what I'm shown and do something with it. I can say that just knowing what I'm shown isn't enough. It just doesn't feel right "hiding" it as opposed to "not sharing it". I know the difference, and it's between truly not caring what other people think and being afraid of outside opinions.

Today (5/19/2012) I decided to do an aura reading (that I'm now calling "The Crystal Code" I'll explain in a later post) where I asked about my clarification and what it "really" is. Honestly, I don't think it's clarification but a different kind of power that I can use as clarification so I was curious about the true nature of my power.  

I was given an immense journey about my angelic roots, my duties and the reasons why I came here. Everything was so unbelievable that I didn't know what to think, but in the back of my mind it all made complete sense. It ties into everything I've been shown and only shined a brighter light on my purpose and the reasons for being here.

The reading itself came to be 4 pages so I'll post it on it's stand alone post, though it probably would make less sense to the outside because I never explained my other stories about "who I truly am". In any event, it just shows more that I'm here to share something and not hide it, to show my true colors not dull them and to be a way shower for others.

It's becoming clearer and clearer that the more I run away from myself the more backlash I'm going to feel because I do crave to expresses those wonderful things. That being my superself means being all of me and not just the parts people will like. I have to take risks because without them how can I truly be an inspiration to anyone? Playing it safe in this world does nothing but make life boring, but taking action on what you love and know makes things interesting, different and alive. I want to be that, not a complete hermit that's too afraid to come out and shine.

No matter who or what is said about me, I have to realize that it's not about them, it's about me and it's always has been. I just thought it was about other people because I wasn't only afraid what other people might think, but what I felt about it, or if it was even true.

No one wants to be made fun of or to look like a fool. But most history changing people went through that and they didn't for a second give up on what they believed in, even when things got physical. So why do I choose to stay in the dark when so many others lit the path for me?  

I know the reason and I'm going to do my best to stop that excuse, because when the rubber meets the road my purpose is solely depended on how much of myself I choose to share. Even if I tell myself it's not, it is, hands down. I let myself fail and be less then I chose to be for long enough.

My destiny isn't in the hands of others but in my own. And I have to remember that.

Till next time

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

New Spring Season Reading!

Hey everyone!

Here is the new Spring reading video that I just uploaded. The spring is going to bring an emotional renewal, fresh new perspective and a chance to do some HUGE reflection time. If you're going through something tough, hang on and now that everything is going to work out! Thanks for looking and enjoy everyone!

Love All of You!

It's so important to show and express love to yourself. I see this horrible theme that the "ego" is holding you back, leading you to disaster and destruction in your life. That it has to be transcended, erased and surmounted. 

This is the WORNG way to treat yourself. Know that every part of you, even the parts that you DON'T like is very much as apart of you as the good parts. The "ego" isn't something to get rid of, it's to be cherished and loved because it's TELLING you something. If you feel jealous, sad, or angry the best thing that can happen is your inner voice, child, or ego to sit up and say something about it. Of course your ego aka YOU will blame your own problems on outside circumstances (consciously or subconsciously) but the best part of that is the acknowledgment.

You can't change what you don't knowledge!

That is the very moment you go inside and start speaking to your inner most self, revealing the way you feel in its complete rawest form. Honestly is everything. Once you dig up more and more emotion, pain, and inner turmoil it will become clearer that you created your own unhappiness even if it stemmed from others treating you unfairly. It's about revealing your most true self that isn't always a sugar coated being. It can be hurt, scared and most of all malnurtured. The more we ignore are inner most issues the more we create them, leading us to use escapism methods through everything we do (spiritually especially) to keep us from the pain and embarrassment of our true feelings.

Give yourself compassion for all you have and have not done. It's okay to not be perfect, to not compare to your own or someone else's standards. To feel inadequate or not good enough, selfish, or letting yourself or other people down. It really is okay because no one is perfect, and you know what? It is the perfect time to shout to the world that you're not perfect and let those raw emotions go. From there you will find that you were pure from the start, you just left things unchecked.

We all suffer from not being a perfect being and that is okay.

 It's so important to have a quality of self than to have a "sunny disposition" about things, to have an unyielding steam of abundance, to be "happy" all the time, or to have everything you ever wanted. Your possessions can be taken away at any given moment, but your sense of self can not. If you see yourself through all that you have gained material wise, you are more then likely trying to accommodate for the lack in yourself. And that is the hardest thing for a person to admit, especially for a person that is highly determined and has high ideals. 

 As awesome as it is to be positive, happy and be on cloud nine everyday we all have to realize that we all hold different hues of our emotions and spirit. And when you shut one down in anyway, you are shutting yourself down and dimming your own inner light, wisdom and sensitivity that tells you what is wrong. You literally dig up more dirt on the issues that haunt you most, keeping them quiet so you don't have to deal with them.

So show love and compassion to yourself, to ALL of yourself. That will help melt the cold ice that we created to numb the pain and suffering of our lives. Our inner child, negative emotions, feelings, and voice may seem like they are vocalizing the badness of the human psyche, but they are really saying how you truly feel inside. Our hurt, pain, broken promises and suffering is simply a piece of ourselves that we refused to communicate with and withdrawn our warmth too.

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I've been doing a lot of inner work in the last few days and I can tell you this was my experience, I'll go into detail about it on a later date, but I felt an urgency to speak up and speak out for anyone that feels truly lost. If you feel like nothing works in your life, it might not be the things you are doing, but the issues that you haven't resolved in yourself that created a harsh world for you to overcome before you're worthy of true success.

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥