A Funeral to my Old Emotions and Feelings

I don't know where to start. In the last five years I've done many things. Many things that I thought would make me happy and successful, including pursuing a higher ideal. However, if you saw my post about leaving the spiritual community you see my feelings have changed. It's not only that area in my life that have changed, but everything. Literally everything that I thought would give me happiness have failed to do such. Which made me really angry at myself more than anything. I felt like I failed to do what I intended to do so many years ago.

Upon looking at myself in a new light, really taking in the consideration of my true talents and interests, I decided to coach myself. I wanted to coach myself to being whole and complete again. Where I tended to my feelings of feeling different, victimized and unworthy of myself and in life. I so much wanted to succeed and be successful but I found it all go up in smoke. I blamed myself for everything I thought I've done wrong, and felt liable of all the traits I thought that fostered failure and unworthiness.

When I closed my eyes and looked at myself, I saw a girl that was holding on to everything. Every piece of guilt, anger, unworthiness, sadness and anything she felt she had done wrong in the last 5 years. It was weighing her down so much; yet, she wanted to go down the new path she saw clearly that was calling to her. It was tragic and honorable at the same time.

When I saw that in me, all those things I was holding on too, I told myself "before you do anything, just stop. Stop thinking about the past and stop trying to move forward towards the future. The only thing you need to do right now is focus on yourself." It was mind boggling how accurate I was saying these things to myself. It's as if I was truly seeing myself as the client completely detached to my own situation.

When we were going back and forth, a lot of great things were said. The one idea I gave my client self however really hit me, it was giving my feelings a funeral. All those times I felt shitty, I would say my last goodbyes and bury them in the ground. I would close that specific chapter in my life and energetically start a new one. So that I would be able to go down this new road without being held back by my past.

It was so perfect and I wanted to do it then and there but I knew I needed to heal myself that night. I actually haven't done my normal healing routine in over 2 months so all my negative emotions from then on compounded really bad.

That next day, after I did my morning routine, I got on the computer and stated all of my negative feelings that I've felt. The anger, sense of failure, sadness, shame and all the negative thoughts and attachments that I had. Here is the most prevalent part of my funeral:

What I hated the most, was the fact I followed my bliss, calling and purpose only for it to blow up in my face. I wasn't happy, I wasn't abundant, life was still hard and I was sad and wanted things to stop. Everything I ever learned didn't seem to fit anywhere anymore.

All the experts were wrong and I hated the fact that I seemed so different from the people I followed and once looked up too. Nothing made sense. After all these years learning, trying and listening, I've gotten nowhere. I hated what I was doing and didn't see the people, progress or changes I so wanted to see. I was so angry that I just kept it all to myself and felt like a total failure.

All those feelings saying "that I couldn't do anything right" was true, that is how I felt. I tried so hard to be that perfect light worker, that great angel card reader and healer and still I wasn't happy. I felt like people would disown me if I showed my true colors. I felt stuck in life, I felt stuck in myself.

It felt good to get those feelings out on the table and state them as if they where detached from my being. It made me feel that this is the end, and I'm truly ready to open a new chapter in my life. This is apart of the closing of my funeral:

I'm choosing to let it all go. That isn't me anymore. This is a funeral to those feelings, places, sense of unworthiness and anyone that didn't believe in me. This is a closing of a chapter and a start of a new beginning. A new beginning where, I walk in love and not with a sense of guilt.

Where I know I'm smart enough, talented enough, and have plenty of people that care and want to see me succeed. That the world helps me everyday and that the next step is always present. More importantly, I can have a bad day and that doesn't mean I failed; I'm simply learning and being human with limitations. And that's okay.

I'm perfect as I am, even when I can't do everything I want in a day. Where I can't get everything I want at this hot red minute; that I cuss and get angry. Those are the very best parts of me and shows how even more enlightened I am. Not because I'm showing people the light, but also the darkness that resides in us all. That there is nothing to be afraid of and we all can change into better people everyday.

Having that moment to acknowledge my true feelings and deciding with great intention to leave them where they stand was powerful. I feel that a lot has been lifted from my shoulders and I'm so much closer to where I need to be. Even though I've done the most important part, I still have a lot of self healing to do. Things to work out in myself and old programs I need to dissolve fully.

When I saw myself again after my funeral, I told myself that I can "slowly" proceed in the direction I want to go in. But, I have to be mindful that I still need to work on clearing out the old in its entirely. To disable some limited beliefs and completely disarm the past from rearing its ugly head.


I'm still in-between the old and new, and that's okay. This is the perfect place to do my healing work because I don't feel pressure to succeed or fight the old. I can take my time and let the universe guide me to where ever I need to go. At the same time, moving forward and blogging like I want to, expressing myself and focusing on the things I love make it that much more rewarding. I feel complete talking about my story and self discoveries. That I'm okay with the good times and bad, and most of all: I'm doing something I feel connected too. It's the best feeling in the world when everything around me is still very much uncertain.

What is it that you need to give a funeral too? An ex, a job, a friend, a relationship, your feelings of unworthiness, humiliation, failure or pressure? What is it that truly calls you but you resist with the feelings of holding on to something that isn't serving you. Tell me what you think you need to lose and how you want your new chapter to be about.

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

The Magic of Having Fun & Being in The Moment

Having fun is so important. Having fun is important because it reminds you of the other side of life. Not the one where you wake up in the morning for work, think about your bills, issues, job, the economy and how you're going to solve this or that. But the side of life where you're focused on the good, positive and the childlike present you're experiencing.

Having fun truly rises above any and all things material, grounded and solid. Having fun lifts your energy, brings you solutions, connects you with people and brings you in a totally different state of mind.

Whether it's with friends, yourself or a pet, having fun does magical wonders. When was the last time you had true fun? When was the last time you had fun in the worst of times or when things seem bleak. Even if it was a moment, you felt that lightness in your laugh, that airiness of your mind and your current issues take a back seat. This is the magic of not just having fun but also living in the moment.

Too often we take our issues with us every single day. Hoping that somehow thinking them through will somehow solve and complete them. But in the grand scheme of things, constantly thinking of the same issues over and over just creates a bigger illusion of what we want to happen. We can not control everything, we surly can't control other people or circumstances. But somehow, the control we have over ourselves, our moods and emotions takes us from where we are to where we want to be, even if it seems like we're taking a more passive role in life. It's not giving in or submitting that makes life work, but realizing that this very moment, all that matters is having fun and taking notice of the opportunities that is right in front of you. 

When you have fun, you're right in the moment. You're realizing that in this very time space, you are "enjoying yourself" way more than thinking about the past or visualizing the future. You're right here, in the now in all the grandness that it has to offer you.

Bringing more joy, laughter and just that magic of being in the moment in life makes your world work and flow. You're not distracted by everything else, you're enjoying yourself, even loving the air your breathe and just what is currently happening. Even if things isn't perfect and you're desperate for answers or a solution, having fun is the first thing I would suggest. Don't feel guilty about it either, that makes your life even more complicated than it has to be. Take that time off from the harshness of the world, the constant opinions of others and just that cynical mindset of the world and take in a lighter, easier approach to what is happening. Laugh about your issues, make light fun of yourself and how you're reacting and see how small the problem gets in comparison to what they were a few minutes ago.

Life is suppose to be easy, fun and light. Yes, we do have issues to deal with, but that doesn't mean that life is all about embodying the very things we're trying to clear out. It's just the things we chose to resolve during our journey in life, and there is nothing wrong with a little turbulence along the way!

The greatest thing the world, the universe and just existence has to offer is our ability to laugh, play and have fun. Use this very unique gift to aid you on your path in life. Not to feel guilty that you're being passive or naive about things, but so you can ride a higher more finely tuned vibration in life. That kind of energy only allows more fun things, solutions and ideas to come to you because you're able to reach them in your state of bliss. 

Take care of yourself always, and allow the magic of fun and being in the moment guide your path!

Rise of the Guardians

Last night I decided to finally watch Rise of the Guardians and holy crap I regret not seeing it in the movies! This movie has truly inspired me to go after my dreams 100%. To talk, embrace and remind myself and maybe many others to follow their own dreams. We all have a divine purpose and it often shows itself in our passions and dreams. But when we get older and reality is slammed in our faces, it may seem like we're living a lie.


Where no magic exists, money rules and social acceptance is our only calling. I've been living in the cold shadows of my fears, failures and rejections for way too long, on ideals of the hard and broken. Money, material items and social acceptance is not what I want out of life. Dreams, magic and the beauty of living in the now is what I truly want. I can get that even in the worst of times. It's weightless, tasteless, you can't see it but you can feel it. You can take it with you wherever you go and even give it to others. That magic, the kind that true believers like me believe in, is in following your passion, instinct and dreams. That is what I want, dreams and magic. Not frame and popularity at the end of the day. I know what I want is there and is already coming to me.

It's the sparely shimmer of the heart, that trial of magic and wonder. That calling of something greater than yourself, that belief that who you are and who you want to be is truly magical, mystical and vibrant. That is what I'm passionate about and that is what the movie reminded me of.

Even though Jack Frost didn't know who he was, his determination and passion to know his purpose shined through and gave him what he wanted. I loved the fact that the movie showcased getting in touch with your inner child, that one part of you that knows what you really want. That was really stirring to me, I was very moved by it.

When North showed how he had many different sides of him, but his core was wonder and delight and sharing that with all the children of the world, I was on the verge of tears. That is something I want to do, to show and be the magic that I know is in the world. Show others that what you want to do in this world is so valid. Even though I'm doing all this for myself, I want people to take away exactly what I'm showing and giving.

I want to have fun in life and other people should too. That is truly magical and Jack Frost highlighted that as well. 

His fun loving nature, not only helped saved the guardians, but also helped him find himself. Because of that, everything that he ever wanted came right to him on a silver platter, that is truly magical.

I guess to end this, I feel that I am a guardian myself because I know exactly what it is that moves me in life, or one of the many things that moves me. That is dreams and bringing more magic in this world. For people, especially older reality driven people to take a step back and truly question if what they are doing is right, or even apart of their divine makeup.

  Keep dreaming folks!

Home From Zenkaikon

 I was away at Zenkaikon, an anime convention, for 4 days (I came home on Monday) and these are my most current thoughts since.

Original Picture by Eirian-stock

Ever since I came home from Zenkaikon, a lot of different things became apparent to me. I just need to change. Change out of this old stuff that I've been holding on to for so long and stop thinking that my choices will fuck me over in the long run. I want to speak about the truth that I know for sure, something that I really hold dear to me, and that is following your dreams. Be passionate about what you want to do and do it no matter if someone is watching or not. Travel and see the world, find something different to explore and enjoy every moment. Life is not hard, but we make it that way when we choose things that we really don't need or want. When I started FYIC readings and card readings in general I wanted a quick source of income. Even though I didn't make a ton of money by any means, it gave me money to support myself and showed how my focus and dedication does work wonders. But it also showed how much I tried to work and cater to others more than myself at the end of the day. The blog content, the reading sales, the twitter and all of that was so more people can actually find me and hopefully buy from me. I do love what I do in essence, but being honest with myself, I just wanted to find a way to support myself without hating my job. FYIC readings did do that for me for a while till I started to really notice that I loved doing whatever I was doing rather than reading for people. Even though it would be fun, interesting and exciting, I would always look forward to doing something else.

This isn't a bad thing, but it really shows that my heart and passion isn't in giving people spiritual guidance. I don't want to give people guidance. I don't want to be apart of the spiritual community like I used to be, I don't want to teach people all the rules and ways of the universe. I want to teach people to follow their dreams. That is what matters to me and that is what I feel makes the world go round. I want to do things purely for myself and what I find passion in. And following your dreams is it. It just fills me with glee thinking about it. Nothing else to me matters but doing what I want at this point in life. I'm not trying to do things for other people and I surely don't want to speak about dreams for others. I want to speak about it because I am passionate about it. That's as simple as it gets.

 I want to talk because I want too. Not for money, popularity, frame, or some type of outside gain. I want to do this because I want too and I so love to do it. That is what matters to me. Everything else as far as spiritual guidance from whatever source doesn't matter to me anymore in the way it used to. I don't need it, and I surely don't want to talk about it like I thought I wanted to. I'll give that torch to so many others that love what they do in that arena.

Me, myself want to talk about dreams and how wonderful it is to have and follow them. The many gifts it shows us and the many wonderful things that stems from dreams when we do follow them. That is everything to me and I love how my own spiritual nature adheres to that ideal that I love so much. I've truly been putting my spiritual gifts in the wrong area, for the wrong reasons and for the wrong people.

I want to put up my hat and jacket in this area of my life and start anew, with something I really want. To focus on me only and no one else because people don't give me passion like dreams do and talking about them. I'm going to be the most selfish I think I've ever been and say that I refuse to cater to anyone outside myself in my endeavors from now on, especially people on the internet. It will be quite the change of pace but I can do it. Whatever extra that comes from doing what I want, will be just that, extra.

Shine Your Light!

This is one of the first inspirational pictures I made after finding out that I want to go in a more inspirational, positive and creative route in my life's work. I want to do more to show people how much power they really have. Or to show that there's more out there to explore. I'm not exactly sure how to explain it, but I know I'm in for something huge!

For me to get to this point however, I needed to allow my own light to shine! So I want people to see this and know that they too can allow their own light to shine. All of our magical perspectives, imaginations and what we are capable of is valid. We just shut ourselves down when we listen to all the naysayers and conclude that they are right because we're in "reality". But allowing to have our own voices and views heard, we are letting our own unique light shine! Wherever that light shows you, follow it, because you can't go wrong when you believe in the worthiness of your view, path and soul!

Not Taking Spirituality So Seriously

 Making spirituality my own.

It's been a long time since I made a personal blog post. Mostly because I went into a deep hiatus after being "out there" for too long and other life happenings. Things have gotten so intense in my life that I had to choose to drop a lot of the tasks I was trying to do and focus on my core passions. It's something that I want to get into in another post but for now I just want to express my new feelings about spiritually and just being alive.

Through my hiatus a lot of big changes happened, and most of them were in myself. The way I view the world and it's relation to myself and my current experience in the world. A change in dreams and finally knowing what I really want out of my life and in myself. Those changes and many others even before this time have been showing me how dependent I was on spirituality. And how I hold too many other people's words to heart and not on my own.

For the longest time I felt that being "positive" in all its aspects (loving, forgiving, gratefulness) meant trying to be this saint like figure, something that I wanted to be. But time and time again I would find life would takes it's toll and I would be anything but those things. Then I would feel bad because I was being "negative" and somehow I would be cut off from the universe's graces. I'm finding out that a lot of that thinking came from all the books and constant dedication to my spiritual beliefs. That positive things equaled to abundance and a great life and negative things equaled lack and etc. I believed this because everyone else were saying it, and me trying to follow the best possible route for my life, I wanted to adopt that thinking too.

The more days go by now, the more I see and feel myself separating from what I've been learning for years and into my own simple be(ing)lief system. Something that isn't what "everyone else" says, but one simply about me, being me in this world. I'm tired of hearing that positivity equals good and negativity equals bad in ALL aspects. I'm sick of hearing how if you are loving, forgiving and saint like you'll get the universe's graces. And if you are the opposite you are out of that loop.

My thing is, we should be allow to be human. And quite frankly, everyone isn't happy or loving or forgiving all the time, and that should be more than okay. I'm sick of hearing the guru's boast about their life being great because they were positive (in the broadest sense mind you) and if you don't have what you want, you are doing something wrong. I'm not against being positive, and I'm surly not against improving yourself and your life but I am against trying to be this god like figure because that's the spiritual community's "ideal" in a way.

Despite all the great and powerful experiences, words and concepts I've been shown about who I am, I'm starting to feel more comfortable being "human" (it changes but generally speaking). I'm feeling more comfortable having rough emotions, having to struggle sometimes, having to risk things, having to be open to others and being hurt, not wanting to forgive another, feeling disgusted with people and things, and just the way life is sometimes.

I feel that, I've kept myself from feeling strong hurtful emotions because I felt like I had to love everything to be this "shining beacon" of light. That top of the mountain that all spiritual people want to go on and spend tons of time and money on to get there. I want to be able to be my super self (embodiment of my higher self) but I think I've been trying to cut too much out and mold myself into something that the "collective" wants, and not so much my own.

I don't like children and babies, I never did, I never want to have any. The universe having been slapping me with "mother" and "children" like signs for over a year now. And in that time I felt like I had to like babies and children to be whatever the universe is trying to convey to me. But after some failed attempts to like them I just have to shout to the world at large that despite my beliefs and what I want to be, I DO NOT LIKE CHILDREN OR BABIES. And gosh it felt good when I got clear with myself about my feelings. It got even better when I told myself and the world that I don't have to be or do anything because I'm spiritual. I can be whoever I wish, and do whatever I wish and still be a great person. I don't have to be "all-loving", I don't have to forgive everyone on a drop of a dime and I don't have to be compassionate in the face of something I completely opposite. And I surely don't have to force myself to like anything to be in the universe's graces or to be considered an "authentic" spiritual person to others. It's all self opposed stuff that I've been reading about for as long as I've been in the metaphysical (which was for 10 plus years). I'm stepping out of the books, and other people's ideas to know that who I am "now" is more than good enough today, right now. I don't have to do anything or be anything to be good enough, I am that right now, with all my flaws.

Yes, I want to improve upon myself just like anyone else, but I won't be so serious about it. I'm more willing to go through life's bumps as well as the emotional kind and be okay. I can feel needy, selfish, spoiled, angry, unforgiving and know that it's okay to FEEL those feelings because I'm human. Despite my spiritual nature inside and outside my body, I can be anything I choose and accept those things, and still be good enough for the world, myself and anyone I care for. It's not about feeding those bad emotions, but accepting them inside myself, and admitting that "I'm not so loving right now",  or "I really hate that I'm dealing with this." It really is okay, given that you're not being run by those emotions and are dealing with them constructively. And if you are still not feeling all loving, let that be okay. You're more than allowed to feel that way because we're human and no human being is perfect, or never had a negative emotion. We all had them at one point and we can get better. But don't strive for something mindlessly, or do it to be conveyed as a certain person, to other's or yourself. Because that will be the biggest challenge that you'll almost never have the guts to face. That part of you that is negative, hateful, unforgiving, hurt and only wants to express itself like every other part of you (as long as it is constructive of course).

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

The Twin Flame Dream chronicles: Life Overhaul

 Since meeting Korea (the pet name I've given my twin), I've changed gears about my life and whole heartedly decided to completely overhaul it. I want to be thin and even more healthy so I've been doing my belly dancing exercises 5 times a week. I'm normally a bit lazy with it because I get bored easily, but this go round I have a new resolve and I know why I'm doing it! When I first started, I was so excited to do it, and even on week 3 I still have the drive to get up from being exhausted to do it, something I can't say I was willing to do before! I feel the difference in my body and can't wait to get stronger and leaner because of it.

To my surprise I want to fully embody my girly side. I've always had a tomboy look and style with maybe a few dashes of girlyness once in a blue moon. Black, baggy t-shirts, pants, and a pony tail or a bun is basically what you'll normally see me in. If was "dressing up" you'll probably see me in a punk/gothic/rave getup which to this day I still love. But for a while, I wanted to wear more colors, lace, and just girler things.

 Even though I don't look it, I have a huge love for all pink and cute things. I want to show that side more so that I can express myself in more ways then the "dark/scary/I don't get a shit" side of life! Sometimes, I want to be loud and stand out in a bright and colorful way since I love being different no matter what I'm doing. I've also grown an appreciation for mainstream fashion which I couldn't care or less before, I'm still not "into it" but I see pieces that I would love to own! I even want to try my hand (or feet) at wearing heels, something that I used to despise as a teenager. Overall, I want a new wardrobe and get rid of the very old clothes that still plagues my drawers. I'll always have my punk/goth/raver style but I want to expand my everyday style a lot further. I want to look dynamic inside and out!

On the girler note, I want to actually do something with my long hair. Being African American, I was blessed greatly with long hair that everyone would always comment on. I never really cared to do anything with it for the longest time till maybe a few years back. But now, I really want to learn how to do some hair styles, particularly the hair styles out of my Japanese magazines. Their hair styles are always so damn cute! That and I want to learn how to take care of it better then brushing and combing it everyday haha! I was even thinking of getting it dyed and having bangs but I might have to think about that more.

I'm so old school that I live by the phrase "If it's not broke, don't fix it" haha. If however I didn't have to worry about the cons of dyeing my hair, I would want a light pink, or a brown-red color. Something that's catching to the eye. I just don't want to have too much maintenance with my hair. I'm a pretty simply girl so I don't want to constantly go back to fix the roots and stuff like that. So yeah we'll see about all that.

There are a couple of other things that I want to do like whiten my teeth, find more ways to make my skin clear, try my hand at simple make-up and stuff like that, but overall the reason why I want to do all this for myself is so that I can finally look like the person that I feel I am! There is nothing wrong with me now, but a lot of what I'm currently still doing is pretty much in the past, old or doesn't resonate with me anymore.

At the same time, being and looking my best can only bring greater things to me including my twin flame. Whenever we do physically meet, I want him to see me as I see myself, the very best person in the world! Confident, sweet, radiant, beautiful, giving and just so much more. It's my duty to myself to love and cherish myself with unconditional love; putting my very best effort to make myself shine shows how much I care about my body, inside and out!

Now, I want to come out of my shell more and really show what I'm made of. I'm beautiful now with a beautiful personality, but now it's time to really put forth the effort to take care of the body that I came in with. Make it shine, radiant and healthy! Hell, I want to show it off too on the beach and anywhere I go because I'm so proud of it and my effort!

This is just the beginning of my life overhaul journey but I can say that it's starting off quite well!

Thank you all for reading and I hope it inspires you to become your best self!

Lightworker Angel reading April 2-8, 2012

Hey everyone!

I'm going to try out a special new kind of angel reading, where I give messages to specific groups of lightworkers like indigo, crystal children/adults, earth angels and etc. This was pretty much done on a whim and I decided to relax a bit more in my videos and let my dorkyness shine!

Even if you're not a lightworker, these messages can still mean something to you, they are not limited to just "lightworkers" it's for everyone that finds them inspiring, helpful and true to them.

This week's reading I'll be focusing on these groups (in order of the video) crystal children/adults, indigo starseeds, and finally nature loving people (incarnated fairies and etc)

For the crystals this is the time to sit down and write out new ideas and TAKE ACTION on them. For the indigo starseeds, you've missed a step along your current progress so you must back track and find what's been missing. That will be the key if something is not working for you or you feel stuck currently. Finally, our nature lovers have been bogged down to the earth with negative energy. Ask he angels to cut your cords and lift that energy off you. So that you can go about your day without tuning into the negativity of the world.

For everyone that's in listening range, JUST HAVE FUN! Life is too short to be bogged down by the coulds, woulds, and shoulds! Also, it helps lift your energy to really high places where it's easier to be in focus of your true loving goals!

Thank you everyone for listening and watching!

Love All of You!

It's so important to show and express love to yourself. I see this horrible theme that the "ego" is holding you back, leading you to disaster and destruction in your life. That it has to be transcended, erased and surmounted. 

This is the WORNG way to treat yourself. Know that every part of you, even the parts that you DON'T like is very much as apart of you as the good parts. The "ego" isn't something to get rid of, it's to be cherished and loved because it's TELLING you something. If you feel jealous, sad, or angry the best thing that can happen is your inner voice, child, or ego to sit up and say something about it. Of course your ego aka YOU will blame your own problems on outside circumstances (consciously or subconsciously) but the best part of that is the acknowledgment.

You can't change what you don't knowledge!

That is the very moment you go inside and start speaking to your inner most self, revealing the way you feel in its complete rawest form. Honestly is everything. Once you dig up more and more emotion, pain, and inner turmoil it will become clearer that you created your own unhappiness even if it stemmed from others treating you unfairly. It's about revealing your most true self that isn't always a sugar coated being. It can be hurt, scared and most of all malnurtured. The more we ignore are inner most issues the more we create them, leading us to use escapism methods through everything we do (spiritually especially) to keep us from the pain and embarrassment of our true feelings.

Give yourself compassion for all you have and have not done. It's okay to not be perfect, to not compare to your own or someone else's standards. To feel inadequate or not good enough, selfish, or letting yourself or other people down. It really is okay because no one is perfect, and you know what? It is the perfect time to shout to the world that you're not perfect and let those raw emotions go. From there you will find that you were pure from the start, you just left things unchecked.

We all suffer from not being a perfect being and that is okay.

 It's so important to have a quality of self than to have a "sunny disposition" about things, to have an unyielding steam of abundance, to be "happy" all the time, or to have everything you ever wanted. Your possessions can be taken away at any given moment, but your sense of self can not. If you see yourself through all that you have gained material wise, you are more then likely trying to accommodate for the lack in yourself. And that is the hardest thing for a person to admit, especially for a person that is highly determined and has high ideals. 

 As awesome as it is to be positive, happy and be on cloud nine everyday we all have to realize that we all hold different hues of our emotions and spirit. And when you shut one down in anyway, you are shutting yourself down and dimming your own inner light, wisdom and sensitivity that tells you what is wrong. You literally dig up more dirt on the issues that haunt you most, keeping them quiet so you don't have to deal with them.

So show love and compassion to yourself, to ALL of yourself. That will help melt the cold ice that we created to numb the pain and suffering of our lives. Our inner child, negative emotions, feelings, and voice may seem like they are vocalizing the badness of the human psyche, but they are really saying how you truly feel inside. Our hurt, pain, broken promises and suffering is simply a piece of ourselves that we refused to communicate with and withdrawn our warmth too.

-----

I've been doing a lot of inner work in the last few days and I can tell you this was my experience, I'll go into detail about it on a later date, but I felt an urgency to speak up and speak out for anyone that feels truly lost. If you feel like nothing works in your life, it might not be the things you are doing, but the issues that you haven't resolved in yourself that created a harsh world for you to overcome before you're worthy of true success.

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

Podcast 7: Time To Clean Up The Old!

Hey everyone! 

Download Here

Here is the new podcast for this week which talks about clearing out baggage and old energies! The angels will guide us on how it happened and what we can do to fix it, so we can have a transformational spring!

 Hope you all are having a great end of winter!

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

Time To Clean Up Your Energies!

This week, it's been so painfully obvious that I have been working too hard! Just as I felt, this was a down energy week for me, where I needed to rest and relax. I also wanted to challenged myself to face all my demons on all levels so that I can get past the issues and obstacles in my life.

I made that intention earlier this week and just like that I saw Love or Above's status for her webinar RIGHT when she posted it. It definitely helped me start the process in a big way and I'm following suit. Every time I feel inadequate, not good enough or poor in spirit I'm going to go deep inside to release my anger and resentment to the universe. I'll let my "inner child" have her needed tantrum and tell her that she's very worthy for everything see wants, then guide her to the light of my higher self.

Since last night, I did the process twice and each time I felt much lighter, but I need to rest for the new energies to integrate in my physical and spiritual bodies.

The fairies told me yesterday morning in a reading, before I started the challenge, that the new energies will be washing away the old stale energy so not only I'm on track with what I need to do, but I'm taking advantage of this cosmic event to make this process easier!

So if you feel like all the old issues are crawling out of the wood works, please don't slam them down, ignore them, or slap happy stickers over them. There is an inner child that is simply telling you what's wrong and wants your help, compassion and guidance to your higher self's light. This is the best time to do it because the universe is literally sweeping up the old to make room for the new. The more you resist and ignore your issues, even when you try to be positive in its presence, they will still wreak havoc in your life. Causing unwanted struggles, problems and constant obstacles. It's not about being positive and upbeat in life, but resolving the core issues of our problems that will "truly" make the difference in our lives. 

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

Tangled And The Internal Struggles Of Following Your Dream

Tangled is a great movie, not because it touches us in a deep way, but it shows how the human heart can both push us to something greater, but also keep us stagnate at the same time.

Here is the starting plot of the movie that sets everything off. Taken from Wikipedia:

"A drop of sunlight falls to the ground and grows into a magical flower, with the power to heal the sick and injured. An old woman named Gothel finds it and uses it to keep herself young by singing an incantation. Centuries later, a kingdom has developed, ruled by a king and queen. The Queen becomes ill during pregnancy, and the couple's loving subjects search for the legendary flower. The queen is eventually fed the flower, is healed, and gives birth to a daughter, whom they name Rapunzel. Rapunzel's golden hair, it is found, has absorbed the magical abilities of the flower. Gothel discovers this and tries to steal a lock of Rapunzel's hair. However, she finds that, once cut, the hair turns its normal brown and loses its power. So she kidnaps Rapunzel and hides her in a tower, saving the powers of the magic flower for herself, and raising her as her own child. Every year, on Rapunzel's birthday, her parents and their subjects release thousands of sky lanterns, in the hope that the lost princess will return. Rapunzel has seen these over the years from her high tower. Nearing her 18th birthday, she asks Gothel to take her outside to see the source of the annual floating lights as her present, but Gothel refuses."

I couldn't help but to notice the friction between Rapunzel's and Gothel's goals, and that of the human heart. How many times did we dream about doing something, big or small, only to meet an inner being, or a Gothel, telling us other wise.

Gothel is my favorite character believe it or not lol

 In the movie, Gothel is quite manipulative, and she undermind's Rapunzel's wishes and fills her head that the outside world is a horrible place. She tells Rapunzel that she couldn't possibly defend herself from its evils, that she was immature, naive and "vague". This was Gothel's way to keep Rapunzel from going into the outside world, to keep her "safe" in the tower, only to wonder "what if?". 

I can tell you now, I feel like I've always had an inner Gothel, telling me that it's safe to be where I am, even if I'm hungry to advance and strive for my dreams. Those "negative voices" that people talk about all the time, it's the same concept. People from all walks of life, from all backgrounds will face those feelings, obstacles, and hurdles.

What made Rapuzel so great was that despite her own fears of not only upsetting her mother, but "facing the world", she decides to put it all on the line to go for her dream! How many people you know have been so bold to do that? To have this incredible dream, vision and concept that they want to make a reality and said "The hell with the world!" and do it? Even for those of us that have taken the unbeaten path, it can be hard to change along the way and get better, because in the back of our minds those voices are still calling us home, back to the tower where it's safe. 

It was the same for Rapunzel, even when she felt grass under her feet, ran in the fields, and felt the freedom of being alive for the first time, she was conflicted greatly, and always thought about the tower. She thought how horrible of a daughter she was and how her actions would upset her mother enormously, so much so that Rapunzel was in tears. It's never easy to seemingly give up on everything you know for a simple dream.

The awards for striving for your dream is always great, but it's never an "easy" road. You don't just make your dreams come true, you are deciding that no matter what, you'll see your dream through for everything it's worth. Even when people say (me included) "life can be easy if you do/think/behave differently" it's never really that simple. Life is an open road, not a linear tunnel. What you decide to put in will result of what you'll get out. You can be positive all you want, but you'll still need the strength and courage to overcome everything that will be thrown at you. If you're sitting in your tower, waiting for your dream to smack you in the face, you will need Rapunzel's magic hair to keep you alive for all the time you'll be waiting. 

 That doesn't mean you have to work yourself to the grave for your dream, but I will never suggest that you sit in a tower and wait for it to happen either. When you feel it, that passion, that goal, that connection between you and the world around you, you'll know that you're more then ready to not only make your dream come true, but to finally know what to do to get there (at least the first step). Even if you're scared, afraid or alone, it will be that inner passion that will override the fear and make you "do something" that you'll never thought you would. 

That is what Rapunzel did, and she was faced with many challenges and even sacrifices, but she became a person that she never thought she could be. She become smarter, wiser and so much more vibrant because she moved mountains for this one dream she had since she was a little girl. That is what life is about, striving for something that is bigger then yourself, even when the whole world is against you. It's never the easiest road, but it's always the more exciting and awarding one! 

 Are you excited yet? Go out there and start going after your dreams!

Pictures and gifs are from colliner and Tumblr , and edited by me (the top banner picture)

Lightworker Prologue

Before I officially begin this series of blog posts, I just wanted to give everyone a heads up on what to expect. Even though this is more of a "self-help" type of series, my own personal story and journey will be intertwined throughout it. I like being as honest as possible when it comes to giving out my own story, because I don't think "sugar coating" for the sake of the "target audience" is truly teaching. I want you to know everything I went through, both good and bad.

 I fully believe that anyone can live a happy easy life through law of attraction and any other method out there. But, what I don't find helpful is when people omit the struggle from their journeys or say "If you think/believe/act positive enough, life will be easy".

That is not the case for me and the typical Lightworker life. I'm not saying positivity doesn't work, but trying to be happy all the time and aimlessly chase Nevada through books, seminars, CDs and worksheets won't eliminate your lessons that may very well contain struggle.

If there is an important lesson that we have to "get through our thick skulls" and it can't be learned through ease, there will be struggle, resistance, and all the nasty things that everyone said we could get rid of in our lives. But after that, you're golden, and I believe the cloud 9 everyone is talking about can be achieved easily. But that is another post for another day.

To cut a long story short, I'm going to be a little (a lot) harsh, a little (a lot) brutal and just tell it the way it is through my eyes, which can also contain a cynical nature. However, I don't want to "color" this series with a negative mocking flair so I'll cut the cynical-ness as much as its not twisting the truth of the matter or my honest feelings.

These posts will be quite bulky as well, there will be a lot of information, concepts, stories and the whole nine. I'm going to bust the lid off of everything I thought I knew about this (I'm still learning everyday about Lightworkers so I'm pretty sure the universe will dish everything out). Then serve everyone that wants to know more about themselves and the universe at large on a fat sliver plate. The good, the bad and the very ugly. You can think of me as a mini Archangel Michael (as much as I hate to admit it lol).

When everything is said and done, I'll always keep room for an empathic ear and a compassionate heart. We all need love, that support and that knowing that someone else is there to hold your hand, something I want to give all Lightworkers.

I'll try to post once a week, but I'm not making any promises. I need peace, quiet and a clear energy area to do these types of posts which I don't always have.

If you have any questions about anything I put up here, or just a question in general don't hesitate to ask! I find questions helpful for everyone involved and it helps the growth process. Also, if you want me to touch on any subject matter, please let me know, I'll be more then happy to incorporate them if I haven't or planned to already!

So if you're ready for "all this" I suggest to buckle your seat belts because its going to be one hell of a ride! :D

Archangel Michael's take on fear of success

I did this reading on myself during or at the end of hurricane Irene going through my city. I forgot my original intent in this reading but I know that Michael wanted to talk to me so I did a reading. After I did the reading Michael wanted to do another one but for people in general, so a few days later when I was in the mood I did the reading below.  

♥ Positive thoughts create positive results ♥

Michael says that indeed positive thoughts create positive results. He says that we must keep thinking positive thoughts to really give them power. Sometimes one thought isn't enough but simple reminders throughout the day of what you want to happen. Not just your affirmations gives them more attraction power but you are reminding yourself of something beneficial that will keep your spirits high.

That is why beliefs are so powerful, because you don't even have to remind yourself of your wants, you believe that they will happen so its automatic. When you believe something its much easier to achieve because there isn't constant doubts or worries. When you believe something you make it real in your reality that is above your head. A place where everyone's imagination is stored and kept. When you imagine something, that energy is stored there and is around your aura. That's why its so easy for readers (psychic's, card readers, intuitives) to tell you about your situation. Your aura and vibration is soaking up that energy from your imagination, intentions, thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.

Thus that vibration is attracting exactly what you are storing in your thoughts and feelings. So the next time you want something or don't want something to happen think about what you are feeding your imagination. Good thoughts and beliefs will lead to good things and negative thoughts will lead to negative things.

If you are in the middle of the road things can be mixed in results, depending on what your sole focus is. The point is to think better thoughts then what you don't want or would like to have. So you can be a physical magnet attracting mulit-physical energies and eventually completely real situations that you want to play out.

♥ Go forward fearlessly ♥

Michael is saying that we can't fear the things we want. Its a mental block that will slow things down for you from the inside out. The best why to overcome your fears of your success is to imagine them and playing them it out. The bad and good feelings will show themselves as you dig deeper and deeper into your consciousness and sub-consciousness. When you feel those bad feelings like dread, disappointment, doubt, and fear you must tell yourself how special you are. That you have the ability to achieve anything, even if you are afraid of it. If you don't believe in yourself the results will be lack luster at best and you will hit constant walls.

 Face your fears and really flesh them out so you know completely how and why you feel this way about your success. Once you know your fears inside and out it will be an easier journey for you to achieve your desires of all kinds.

Your fears is always success waiting to be achieved, if you fear something especially success that's one more reason to move forward just as fast towards it. Fear is always greatness yet discovered even if that fear is silly in nature.

♥ Pay attention to your dreams ♥

Michael is urging us all to pay attention to our dreams. Not the one that we have at night (though its important to pay attention to those dreams too!) but our physical dreams, the very thing that we were born to do!

He is saying that its more important then ever to truly take care of ourselves and the best why to do that is to achieve all of our dreams. Do the things that we want to do and be free of self imposing restrictions that we put ourselves through.

When we have dreams that is literally our soul telling us what we came here to do. Even if the first step or the first thought is different the end result its still worthy of your attention.

The best way to get started with any goal or dream is to be committed to strive for it. That means going out your way to do things that you didn't think you would do to get there. Often when we want success we will always be put in a position where we will have to come out of our comfort zone. Since most big lifetime dreams are bigger then ourselves we have to be more then we thought we could be to get to them. Even obstacles can show us that we can be more then we can imagine.

No matter what happens good or bad its always one more step that shows us who we are, what we want, and if we are truly dedicated to our dream. Even if things don't work out as we want them too, perseverance will always take us to our dream, and is often the most important element to have when you are striving for your dreams.

The angels also want to mention that no matter what you go through in life that the angels are always around. Even if it feels good to vent, blame, curse, or even yell to/at them, its okay to let those emotions out.

Manual of power for the artist

 I posted this on my craft blog and other art sites I'm on. This resulted of sick and tired of seeing so many artist disabling themselves to become the people they want to be.

Dear artists of the world,

Where do I even start? I come online everyday and more likely then not I have to hear yet another person's trails and tribulations about "being an artist". Its either in trying to find a style, trying to stay true to yourself, wanting more criticism, telling people to piss off because of criticism, trying to be popular, wanting to live off by doing what they love, and/or thousand other things.

When the rubber hits the road us artists can agree that being an artist is FUCKING HARD. God forbid if you're on the internet trying to make your way because so many of us is left behind in the dust while a select few makes their dreams come true. Tough world, eat it or get out. Don't be an artist if you can't take consist shit and bricks to your emotional face. Don't even start if you can't handle being judged by the world by what and how you draw (or other wise) because that's basically what you're doing from that moment on...

That last paragraph you just read. Is a complete lie... Everything, every single word, your mind just got blown (or not).

Being an artist is NOT HARD, YOU CAN make your own way on the internet, YOU CAN become popular. YOU CAN MAKE A LIVING BY DOING WHAT YOU LOVE. It is all possible and very achievable for anyone that wants it, but there is one thing standing in your way. Yourself and what you THINK you can and can not do aka your beliefs!

What you think and believe directs your outcome of your life as an artist and life itself.

Think about that second paragraph again. Did you agree with one or more statements, did it completely resonate with you because that's the same thing you have been going though? Well, we are about to punch every single one of those statements in the face twice, but you have to promise to have A LOT of patience with yourself because this is just the beginning. The beginning to finding your own magical world where your true artistic abilities are held and everything else that you ever wanted.

First and foremost stop what your doing, for god's sake get off the internet and bust out some lined paper and a pencil to reinvent yourself! Write down every single thing that you want as an artist and just as a person.

This is not the time to be "humble", you can be humble when your dead, if you want popularity then write it down! If you want to make a lot of money by drawing (or any craft) write it in all caps, engrave it in your mind! Write down every single thing that you want to have right now.

How do you feel about all your aspirations and dreams? Does it feel good just to write them or are you nervous because you made the greatest of sins for wanting so much? Either way, listen to your feelings because they are telling you something. Something important about yourself and how you approach the world.

Write those feelings down or just express them. Good, bad, sadness, or depression it doesn't matter just write them down. Don't just write the emotions down, write the "reason" behind the feelings. Does those feelings come from other people's opinions? Did those feelings resulted in what you were told, or what you assumed in the world? Write the whole story down, make it real again and feel those emotions again.

All those icky feelings, opinions, and beliefs you have about yourself, as an artist or just as a person is the very reason why you can't get what you want. You literally built a stone box (aka your feelings and beliefs) around you blocking you from the sunshine that you seek. You chiseled and chiseled at a small part of that wall to invite a small ray of light. Then you go to another part of the wall and try again. Sometimes it works sometimes it doesn't. But out of the "whole world" that is out there the most you get are the small rays of yellow light. Don't down your rays of light, be proud of them that you can chisel through a godly tough stone wall to get them.

But you're craving more light, more sun, and more of "what is out there" in your unique world of talent. Don't down that part either, if you want more then you are a natural non-corrupted human being. Don't let others (people around you, the media, yourself) tell you that "wanting more" is wrong. Wanting more is grabbing what you have and adding more to it, making it bigger and better then what it was before. So if you want more, say it loud and proud!

Okay, so we out lined what we do want and how we felt about it. We focused on the negative feelings and how its trapping us in this "stone box". Now its time to turn that stone box into a "glass box"! Where you can see your full potential, live in front of you. You can see your dreams literally taking shape and playing back to you like you're in a wicked movie theater. The best part of the glass box is that you don't have to chisel at it for god knows how long just to get a taste of it, you can simply tap the glass and watch the barrier fall.

Before we start, all those harsh feelings from before? Let the emotions go, write/draw/paint your negativity on a piece of paper then throw it in the trash. Tell yourself "I am no longer holding these emotions against myself, thank you for telling me what I needed to work on in myself, you are free to go!". Say it as many times as you want till you're ready to throw some positivity in your new artist self!

Take out another piece of paper and write down your dreams (shorten version if you want) and why it is possible to achieve those dreams! This might be hard for some since we were so focused on the "reality" of things but this is where you rewrite "your" reality.
Where you change your beliefs about what can and can't happen in your life. When you are writing your reasons why, make those reasons real, feel that positive energy about yourself. That is key because if you can feel it, then its real to you in some form. The realer you make it, the more achievable it is!

Make yourself feel good about your dreams and how you can easily get to them. Get that huge ego and embrace it because its telling you, you can do ANYTHING and you don't even have to work hard. When you are positive about something, you are making it real and accessible to come into your life. Things come "out the blue" when your positive, things just go smoothly, and ideas just work out when you're upbeat in mood. Where when you are negative about something the opposite happens.

That's because your beliefs and feelings are dictating what you can and can't do. "I can" means unlimited where "I can't" means limited. When you say either you are stating whether you're enabling or disenabling yourself from what you can or can not want, do, or believe.

Its all a state of mind if you can or can't do it. Open yourself to all what life and what your dreams have put together for you and ride that epic wave. Don't let others take that away from you either because "all this", the old and new found artist self was done by you. No one can change your beliefs unless you let yourself believe them.

No one can take your dreams away and no one can block you from your goals but you! Be persistent, courageous, daring, loving, and head strong with what you want as an artist. Whoever doesn't like what you're doing, tell them to simply "piss of" and don't feel sorry to stand for what you believe in.

This is "your life" take control of it and your creative destiny, never let anyone take that power away because its rightfully yours.

Peace, love, and paint brushes ~