Long ago I should of accepted myself as someone completely different than any group I could identify with. I realized that my unique take on spirituality, because I am still spiritual and I love spirituality on it's own, is a true gift and not an impurity of the soul. I have to accept and start being my own true god, goddess and guru without feeling guilty that I'm somehow breaking the spirituality rules.
To be honest I feel like I've been sheltered for years by spirituality and I've been cutting myself short by not wanting to seem too different from the mainstream spiritual community. It left me with a really fragmented life and a life where I wasn't being all of who I am. I struggled hard to "make it" and make a name for myself as an angel card reader but that alone has gotten old for a long time.
My beliefs in spiritually is much different than what I was reading, listening and watching for years.
I don't feel that the ego is bad, in fact I feel that is the furthest thing from the truth. I don't think we should "transcend life" while cursing the material world and all it has to offer. And one of the biggest things I came to realize for myself is that I loath the ideal that we came here to purely serve the world and not ourselves. Even though I hear about loving yourself quite a bit in new age information, for some reason it always boils down to bettering yourself to better the world. I'm sure I even said the same basic thing. I love to help people, but giving up my life and desires in hopes that my sacrifice will make the world a better place is too much.
Being in the spiritual community was a huge thing in my life. It was something that happened every single day for a decade if not more. However, it simply grew out of control, I was too ingrained and influenced by what the next person said, even if I didn't resonate with it. Spirituality as well as my career in it took up way to much of my time, and slowly over the years some vital parts of myself got left in the dust.
Spirituality is great but it won't make me or give me happiness. In fact, nothing will give me happiness but me, by being my own self. Even the parts of myself that seem nonspiritual, impure or even bad through the eyes of some extreme spiritualists. But I have to remember, the universe doesn't care what I do, in fact it wants me to be all that I am. It says that if I want it than I can have it. That includes material and earthy wants and desires. It's people's opinions that made me hesitant for so long, and quite frankly those opinions mean jack shit.
There is so much more I can explain but I'll leave it at that. With everything being said, I'm still spiritual and will talk about spirituality, the difference being it'll be my own spirituality. I also feel that there is nothing wrong with spirituality or the community on it's own. I've met so many wonderful people during my journey; my dislikes with the spiritual community were 10 years in the making, so there is no single person I'm referring too. Just general lack luster things I've been seeing over and over.
That and I've honestly grown way out of it and need to set my own course from here on. My store will still be up and this blog will only grow into something I truly love. I'm excited with this new change and I'm sure you'll love the new changes too.
Till next time,
Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer
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