Sunday, May 27, 2012

The Truth About Speaking My Own Truth


Speaking My Own Truth

Have you ever had trouble speaking your truth? Did you ever had to chew down your words, hide your opinion or not share what's really on your mind? And this isn't just about "how you feel about something" but how you feel about yourself, your own truth and wisdom about something that you may be going though. Maybe you feel that the people around you won't get it, people will think you're crazy or even get a negative response from others about your own feelings.

Maybe it's not about what other people think that scares us, but what we think about ourselves about speaking our truth.

We often  place the blame for others that "we can't speak our truth" when it's ourselves that don't let us speak our own truth.

Since overhauling my life and discovering more and more about myself in all ways, my need and desire to speak my own truth have become a blessing and a challenge. Accepting who I am as a soul and spirit has been the hardest challenge I had to face on my own, simply because I don't let myself fully believe.

When I say that, I go "Of course I believe!" but do I really? All the wonderful things that the angels said about me and the beautiful picture of grace that I felt for myself, is that truly who I am, or something I simply want to put faith in? What will other's think about these stories, this magical journey (laced with frustration and struggle) and life that I keep from others? As much as I want to share them, my inner child wants them hidden, out of fear from both sides of the field. From both being ridiculed and falling in love with the magic she fears that might not be true.

I often wonder what people will think, but it's not about what people think but what I think. I want to go bat shit crazy with my ideas, concepts and creativity only to be halted by my own fears.

Fear has it positive uses, I know that, but I'm using fear as an excuse to not be who I am fully. To hide myself again from my own beauty, something that the angels never kept from me. If I was half as bold as them I would probably be on T.V because of the insane stuff I would share, but I don't, out of fear and I have to break that cycle.

My journey have taken me to places in myself that I couldn't imagine going. Day after day more and more of myself becomes unveiled to me, making me a stronger more confident person. I get a bigger glimpse of my purpose and why my life has been the way it has. And then of course, I ask the tougher questions. My past life, not on earth but in divinity. Where does that tie in? Who was I before I came down here? Why did I decide to leave, really? The books, information and articles I read makes sense, but I'm always left with more questions because I want to know my own personal reasons and how they are tied to the various things I was shown.

I probably know a lot more about my spiritual self then a lot of other folks that are looking for it, and I should be thankful I have such heavy ties with my heavenly and cosmic bothers and sisters. I can't help but to know who I am fully, the pieces I was shown are awesome in nature but always leads me to more questions.

Did I come from heaven, am I an incarnated angel, fairy or goddess? Did I directly come from source then placed in a body? How does that tie into being a crystal child? What was my duties before I came here? How exactly am I suppose to change the world? So many questions with so many pieces that leads to even more questions.

What am I suppose to do with this information? Share it? What happens if I do? What will people think? Will I scare off people? How will this effect me and my personal life?

Those are the core questions that comes up to me daily when I think about "expressing who I really am"...

All in all however, no matter who or what happens in my path... It's up to ME to fully believe in what I'm shown and do something with it. I can say that just knowing what I'm shown isn't enough. It just doesn't feel right "hiding" it as opposed to "not sharing it". I know the difference, and it's between truly not caring what other people think and being afraid of outside opinions.

Today (5/19/2012) I decided to do an aura reading (that I'm now calling "The Crystal Code" I'll explain in a later post) where I asked about my clarification and what it "really" is. Honestly, I don't think it's clarification but a different kind of power that I can use as clarification so I was curious about the true nature of my power.  

I was given an immense journey about my angelic roots, my duties and the reasons why I came here. Everything was so unbelievable that I didn't know what to think, but in the back of my mind it all made complete sense. It ties into everything I've been shown and only shined a brighter light on my purpose and the reasons for being here.

The reading itself came to be 4 pages so I'll post it on it's stand alone post, though it probably would make less sense to the outside because I never explained my other stories about "who I truly am". In any event, it just shows more that I'm here to share something and not hide it, to show my true colors not dull them and to be a way shower for others.

It's becoming clearer and clearer that the more I run away from myself the more backlash I'm going to feel because I do crave to expresses those wonderful things. That being my superself means being all of me and not just the parts people will like. I have to take risks because without them how can I truly be an inspiration to anyone? Playing it safe in this world does nothing but make life boring, but taking action on what you love and know makes things interesting, different and alive. I want to be that, not a complete hermit that's too afraid to come out and shine.

No matter who or what is said about me, I have to realize that it's not about them, it's about me and it's always has been. I just thought it was about other people because I wasn't only afraid what other people might think, but what I felt about it, or if it was even true.

No one wants to be made fun of or to look like a fool. But most history changing people went through that and they didn't for a second give up on what they believed in, even when things got physical. So why do I choose to stay in the dark when so many others lit the path for me?  

I know the reason and I'm going to do my best to stop that excuse, because when the rubber meets the road my purpose is solely depended on how much of myself I choose to share. Even if I tell myself it's not, it is, hands down. I let myself fail and be less then I chose to be for long enough.

My destiny isn't in the hands of others but in my own. And I have to remember that.

Till next time

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥


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