Crystal Adults: Struggling To Be Who You are

It's been some time since I first wrote about crystal adults, but upon skimming through it today I felt the need to write more about us. This time in particular an issue that I feel is running rampant among crystal adults today which is standing in your truth and struggling to be who you are.

The challenges

Link: http://pinterest.com/pin/304555993520539711/

It's hard right now to stand firm and really believe to be the person you want to be. With all of us coming into an age where we are put to fend for ourselves, look for jobs, be more responsible and interact with more adults or "mature" people, we can feel inadequate within ourselves. I'm learning right now that feeling good within ourselves is so key to our future. Not because of superficial reasons or to look good in front of others, but it's believing in our talents and grace. Each of us have something very special to give to the world, that is why we came here. It's because of us that the world can ascend higher and higher into the lighter realms. Us choosing to be here knowing how difficult it is for a crystal being to interact and slog through the density which is earth, is quite the challenge. Helping people get over themselves, their issues and helping clear out the negativity that has been plaguing this world for too long. I totally get it, and it's tough for us right now.

We all are trying to find ourselves in a time that is especially tough for a crystal. We feel the pressure of "coming out of the spiritual closet", to start up our own businesses, private practices and move forward into being ourselves and living the life we know we can live. But it's hard when our inner world doesn't translate at all with reality. Or when people doubt us, our dreams, our abilities or what we speak of, of what can be than what is. It is tough, and I'm feeling for all of you. I'm in the same position as well...

Negative Programming

However, I feel that before we can truly take our show on the road and shine like we really want to, we have to dig deep into ourselves and fix the negative programming. The negative programming that life lead us to believe in. All that nonsense about war, competition, being the best, winning and losing, faking it till you make it and anything else that still abides by the old paradigm is flat out BULLSHIT. We truly knew that but when in Rome, do what the Romans do. We were too young to shout and scream about something better, and if we did we get shut down anyway. That is the very feeling, emotions and programming that we need to undo right now. All the bullshit that trapped us into feeling we were never good enough, or the fact we needed to change.

There is nothing wrong with us, our sensitivity, our abilities, our talents or anything we truly have inside. The only thing that is wrong is living by these piss poor standards when we clearly have a choice now! We all have a choice now, and we can choose differently. We can choose if we're going to listen to all the people that didn't believe us with our wacky, out of this world ways, we can choose to finally stop lying to ourselves about who we really are because people didn't get the real you, we can change the hard 3rd dimension "rules' that we thought we had to put up with.

It's all done, we have all the power in the world to change exactly what we want to change! And it starts with you as an individual. It starts with us believing in ourselves, right now. It might seem scary, and hell it is at times but you're strong enough, smart enough and damn good enough to be the person you want to be.

Why stomach all this nonsense when we have a clear choice? Why put up with our negative friends and family? Why put up with the news and the constant ringing of the negative bell? We all know we can do better and we all believe that people should have a choice of who they want to be, instead of going down the line like everyone else.

Our Individuality

Our individuality is key and we forgot about that in our journey. I forgot out sensitive I was, in fact, I didn't even know I was sensitive because I was just called a "cry baby" when I was young. However, when I opened back up to myself in 2011, it was clear that I held on to a lot of crap from my past because of how sensitive I was. I held on to the fact that it wasn't okay for me to be me. I had to be strong, tough and fight like the rest of the kids. Obviously it didn't work and I would end up being

picked on as a result. It was hard for me to stand up for myself because I didn't like getting into trouble or confrontation. I just didn't know how to stand up for myself without feeling the fear of being more hurt than I already was. That and shying away from a possible conformation of any form was my instinct from being picked on. I chose to stay in the background alone, it was safer and more comfortable than putting myself in a place were anyone can cut me with their words. And even till this day that instinct of mine is still running strong. I struggle to truly put myself out there without feeling inside that I'm doing something wrong or "against my nature." It's tough, and the situation I'm in now is making me face a lot of issues that I've been holding on to since childhood. Like not feeling good enough, worthy, being able to do things on my own or make my dreams come true. Everything is being tested right now.

Our Purpose To Create Change

I'm been given a chance to see where I dropped my crystal essences for the 3rd dimension reality thinking, and I feel that it's happening to all of us right now. It's time for us to pick up where we left off as children and start infusing our love and light in everything we do. We're here to uplift the world, not help it continue to go to hell in a hand basket. Choosing to keep doing what we're doing to help the mundane and limited to stay as they are only hurts us at the end. We're here to create change, in everything. We're not the babies or the young children that have yet the chance that we have. We're not here to settle down and just "be," we're here to shake things up. And that doesn't mean we're going to warfare or even up root things in an intense matter (like the indigos), but making waves and huge responses by being who we are! We're here to have people look at us and want to change themselves in a deep matter. We're here to help people believe more in what they don't currently accept. That's why we all come from different backgrounds, races, households, financial situations and even sexuality (I'm an asexual). We're here to create change everywhere, so we're very much spread out to cover the entire planet. I'll say it again, we're here to create change and that is why we feel the pressure now, even if you have been hitting all the marks up to this point.

Even though it seems tough, the universe is trying to wake us up even further to open ourselves up to make deep changes. We're going through this so that we can be who we are and then create the major changes we're here to make. There is no more hiding now, it's time to go big or go home. I definitely feel that we all want to make a major switch from what we're wanting or currently doing, but we've been procrastinating and this here, the intensity we're going through, is the answer.

So the question then becomes, how do I do it? How do I more align to who I really am? How do I handle the feelings of hurt, unworthiness and not being good enough? What will happen if I do become all that I really am? Will people understand me, will people try to hurt or tear me down as they did before? How do I know it's safe to be who I am, and feel accepting of myself with everyone being judged constantly by what they think, feel, believe and do? How do I know I'll be really okay with myself, and how will others react?

It's simple...

We Have To Love All Of Ourselves!

When you don't feel hurt in yourself no one else can inflect it on you. It's not being bold and daring despite your feelings, we've been through that already, it's time to be real and caring because that's who we are! It starts with us loving ourselves as we are, that is the key. A good way to do that is by writing out your feelings, I feel that a lot of emotions, especially stuff from the past has been coming up to the surface. This isn't a bad thing, but something we are meant to face now. We're getting a chance to finally put an end to the self defeating patterns and finally unlock the true crystal essence within! This is our chance to face ourselves so we can be ourselves. This is a chance we can show others that we're not like them and that is okay, we're still pure and divine. But most of all, we're able to love all of ourselves, without judging ourselves constantly or feeling that we're being frauds, especially in front of others.

So start creating, writing, explaining, talking, blogging and anything else you can do to get those emotions out! We've been sucking up the negative energies of the world and now it's time for us to finally release our ball and chain from what we've been exposed to for this long!

It's our time now and it's up to us as individuals to create that path to our grand destiny that the universe is laying out in front of us. Even if things look really scary, and I'm certainly going through a situation like that, rest assured that it's not as bad as it seems. This is just the universe giving us what we want, what we really want, and have been asking for, for years and years. It's just if we want it, we have to be able to come out of our own shadow to get it, and that means coming out of the dark, the spiritual closet, fear, hopelessness, unworthiness and our tragic past and mind set that we've been locked into for too long.

It's time to rise and shine like the sun crystal adults, our time is coming, our time is here!

What Are Dreams And Why They Are Important

Hey everyone, this week I won't be doing a week reading but expressing the message my heart and passion is sending me. I talk about dreams and all the benefits of having and following your own!

This is apart of the changing path that I am undertaking of following my true passions in life. I hope you guys find this video helpful and insightful. I have no idea what will come as far as my videos but it will be for the best. Thank you all for your support!

Rise of the Guardians

Last night I decided to finally watch Rise of the Guardians and holy crap I regret not seeing it in the movies! This movie has truly inspired me to go after my dreams 100%. To talk, embrace and remind myself and maybe many others to follow their own dreams. We all have a divine purpose and it often shows itself in our passions and dreams. But when we get older and reality is slammed in our faces, it may seem like we're living a lie.


Where no magic exists, money rules and social acceptance is our only calling. I've been living in the cold shadows of my fears, failures and rejections for way too long, on ideals of the hard and broken. Money, material items and social acceptance is not what I want out of life. Dreams, magic and the beauty of living in the now is what I truly want. I can get that even in the worst of times. It's weightless, tasteless, you can't see it but you can feel it. You can take it with you wherever you go and even give it to others. That magic, the kind that true believers like me believe in, is in following your passion, instinct and dreams. That is what I want, dreams and magic. Not frame and popularity at the end of the day. I know what I want is there and is already coming to me.

It's the sparely shimmer of the heart, that trial of magic and wonder. That calling of something greater than yourself, that belief that who you are and who you want to be is truly magical, mystical and vibrant. That is what I'm passionate about and that is what the movie reminded me of.

Even though Jack Frost didn't know who he was, his determination and passion to know his purpose shined through and gave him what he wanted. I loved the fact that the movie showcased getting in touch with your inner child, that one part of you that knows what you really want. That was really stirring to me, I was very moved by it.

When North showed how he had many different sides of him, but his core was wonder and delight and sharing that with all the children of the world, I was on the verge of tears. That is something I want to do, to show and be the magic that I know is in the world. Show others that what you want to do in this world is so valid. Even though I'm doing all this for myself, I want people to take away exactly what I'm showing and giving.

I want to have fun in life and other people should too. That is truly magical and Jack Frost highlighted that as well. 

His fun loving nature, not only helped saved the guardians, but also helped him find himself. Because of that, everything that he ever wanted came right to him on a silver platter, that is truly magical.

I guess to end this, I feel that I am a guardian myself because I know exactly what it is that moves me in life, or one of the many things that moves me. That is dreams and bringing more magic in this world. For people, especially older reality driven people to take a step back and truly question if what they are doing is right, or even apart of their divine makeup.

  Keep dreaming folks!

Home From Zenkaikon

 I was away at Zenkaikon, an anime convention, for 4 days (I came home on Monday) and these are my most current thoughts since.

Original Picture by Eirian-stock

Ever since I came home from Zenkaikon, a lot of different things became apparent to me. I just need to change. Change out of this old stuff that I've been holding on to for so long and stop thinking that my choices will fuck me over in the long run. I want to speak about the truth that I know for sure, something that I really hold dear to me, and that is following your dreams. Be passionate about what you want to do and do it no matter if someone is watching or not. Travel and see the world, find something different to explore and enjoy every moment. Life is not hard, but we make it that way when we choose things that we really don't need or want. When I started FYIC readings and card readings in general I wanted a quick source of income. Even though I didn't make a ton of money by any means, it gave me money to support myself and showed how my focus and dedication does work wonders. But it also showed how much I tried to work and cater to others more than myself at the end of the day. The blog content, the reading sales, the twitter and all of that was so more people can actually find me and hopefully buy from me. I do love what I do in essence, but being honest with myself, I just wanted to find a way to support myself without hating my job. FYIC readings did do that for me for a while till I started to really notice that I loved doing whatever I was doing rather than reading for people. Even though it would be fun, interesting and exciting, I would always look forward to doing something else.

This isn't a bad thing, but it really shows that my heart and passion isn't in giving people spiritual guidance. I don't want to give people guidance. I don't want to be apart of the spiritual community like I used to be, I don't want to teach people all the rules and ways of the universe. I want to teach people to follow their dreams. That is what matters to me and that is what I feel makes the world go round. I want to do things purely for myself and what I find passion in. And following your dreams is it. It just fills me with glee thinking about it. Nothing else to me matters but doing what I want at this point in life. I'm not trying to do things for other people and I surely don't want to speak about dreams for others. I want to speak about it because I am passionate about it. That's as simple as it gets.

 I want to talk because I want too. Not for money, popularity, frame, or some type of outside gain. I want to do this because I want too and I so love to do it. That is what matters to me. Everything else as far as spiritual guidance from whatever source doesn't matter to me anymore in the way it used to. I don't need it, and I surely don't want to talk about it like I thought I wanted to. I'll give that torch to so many others that love what they do in that arena.

Me, myself want to talk about dreams and how wonderful it is to have and follow them. The many gifts it shows us and the many wonderful things that stems from dreams when we do follow them. That is everything to me and I love how my own spiritual nature adheres to that ideal that I love so much. I've truly been putting my spiritual gifts in the wrong area, for the wrong reasons and for the wrong people.

I want to put up my hat and jacket in this area of my life and start anew, with something I really want. To focus on me only and no one else because people don't give me passion like dreams do and talking about them. I'm going to be the most selfish I think I've ever been and say that I refuse to cater to anyone outside myself in my endeavors from now on, especially people on the internet. It will be quite the change of pace but I can do it. Whatever extra that comes from doing what I want, will be just that, extra.

January 14-20 reading

This week is about going back to the path of your dreams and realizing that you have more power than you think. Use that power to do whatever it is that you want to do because if you don't, you'll stay in the 1% of what the world is really like. Stop listening to reality and start going down your own road.

The Nap Where I Saw Heaven

That morning I saw a painting by Nicolas Poussin called The Assumption of the Virgin. The painting, mainly the clouds, colors and the general feeling of the painting took me back. Somewhere to a place where I haven't been in many years. Some how, I knew in a distant memory, when I was very young, the angels and heaven were exactly like the painting depleted. I knew I saw it all before, like a first memory or dream, but I can't rationally say where and how. I just felt it in my soul and existence, something I call a "soul sense".

Looking at the picture took me back home, a place I dearly missed and loved. I started to feel sad and homesick, wishing that I could be there again, somehow. Even though I'm now living on planet earth, there are some things that I will always go back to, and most of them are just not of this world.

It was warm that afternoon, but it didn't stop me from taking a much needed nap. I however would of never guess what I would wake up from...

I had about 2 dreams before the experience, but this is where things got interesting.

I was looking at this PDF file about finding your true desires or something. I remember you could fill it out on the computer yet the document was in my field of view, it was just there. I remember looking at the top to the bottom of it. It was a tan color and I remember seeing red in it too. The document disappeared and I was outside someone's garden. The garden had big bushes along the side with weird colored grass or plant like flowers in the yard. They also had a flower near the edge of the fence. 

Somehow through yet another computer like program I was able to change the color of the grass. In fact I could change the color scheme of the garden. I had 3 or 4 options and the third option is the one I liked best. It changed the grass to a cool green/blue color and all the other plants around it matched. It wasn't too hard on the eyes like the other color schemes.

Then the wind started picking up and my dad was bending down in the grass to touch it. The dream was getting a lot more realistic and I was getting a lot more lucid. I remember seeing the grass move in such great detail with this one flower that was blowing along with it.

This is when things got really weird. I was standing at the opened gate of the fence, while my sister was standing on my left and my dad was standing on my right. I looked up at the sky and saw this one cloud that looked like a bird (it was more like dragon this time), a classic symbol of my passed grandmother. I excitedly told my sister "look look at that cloud!". When she did, the cloud drifted off and I saw the earth rotating fast like those videos where they capture the earth revolving and you can see the shadow covering the earth. This totally freaked me out because I took it as a omen. I was always afraid of seeing space and planets in my dreams because I felt like something bad was about to happen, this was no different. In fact there was a lot of stuff in the sky moving about but seeing the earth turn as fast as it did with the shadow covering it up totally put me on edge. I didn't want it to be a sign to what to come.

As all this is going on, I had a growing feeling of the ominous when suddenly the rush of wanting to ask "I do have a huge purpose?" came to me. I wanted to ask my sister but I learned that whenever I do ask about my purpose to anyone in my dream, they would look at me as if I was stupid. But this time I really NEEDED to ask and I couldn't form the words in the right way. I kept thinking about how I should ask so I could get a straight answer, but I knew that I didn't have a lot of time. That's when I just asked my sister "Just tell me, I do have a huge purpose don't I?". I looked up at her while she was looking out over yonder and said "Yeah you do". FINALLY, a straight answer but not one from a question as if I didn't know, but a reassurance that what I knew what right.

The sky started to grey, the wind was picking up. I knew something huge was going to happen, then it did. As I was continuing to look up in the sky, in the left side corner of my eye I saw a tidal wave coming through the neighborhood block. It was grey and was covering everything in its path. Initially I started to freak out, at this point of the dream things were surely real and I was lucid to the max.

Tidal waves are the number one symbol in my dream that kills me. Numerous times through out the years. Yet they are involved in my most spiritual dreams. No matter what happens, if I look out over a body of water in my dream I'm sure to see one emerge and all I can do is run/fly for my life, hoping I won't get killed in the process. But after the last dream where I saw one, I knew that I had to stand up to my fear. So as fast as I felt fear I stood up and felt powerful, that I wouldn't run and knew that I would be okay. In my mind I was like "I got this!".

That's when my dad took me and my sister and dashed to our right, down the street to outrun the wave. I was in shock and didn't know what to expect. With only a few steps my dad took my hand or arm and pushed me forward/up and yelled at me to "fly!". I knew that somehow this was the moment of truth, instead of running and graveling in fear I was going to excel and ascend everything I've done before and go to my rightful place and fly!

I outstretched my arms and intended on flying (superman style), exceeding, and becoming way more then I could be before, and wouldn't you have it I stared flying faithfully and strongly!

I knew then that I was going to avoid the wave and felt safe, but started to fear if I was heading into outer space. I saw the clouds I was flying through and I was ascending higher and higher. I calmed my fear and no sooner that I did I saw the most incredible white building on my right!

Then looked ahead and saw "heaven" full blast and totally embodied in the experience as if I was there before!

 It was bright and sunny with plenty of cloud like fog near the bottom. At that point was I flying on auto pilot, as if I was somehow being controlled. All I had to do was relax and enjoy the moment and I would fly to wherever I needed to be. I remember hearing the angels cheering for me in the distance in a way. I was so excited and no sooner I saw the skyscape all I could repeat to myself is that "I knew it!". Everything I saw and felt was exactly what I remember heaven and the angels being like.

No matter what I read or leaned from, that very first remembrance of heaven I had never left and anything that connected me to that "feeling" strike me to the core. It was surely the truth that I knew to be true on a soul level.

The sun, or if it was the sun, was amazing! Instead of a bright yellow ball in the sky as you would see on earth, it was a soft white, warm and healing light. I could see the light flares from me looking into it and the somewhat opalescent rays that my eyes could capture.

The white building that I saw before, it wrapped around from the right to the left. I saw that the general style was marble and the classic cherry wood ascent. I also saw a huge bronze angel statue, it seemed like it moved gracefully as I flew by. As I flew around, the reality of everything was more real and welcoming then our reality.

 Nothing in this world can recapture the moment like I experienced. This wasn't a mere dream and it was just too damn awesome to be an out-body-experience since I'm accustomed to those. I can't explain what exactly my travels as those are. I just know when I do have them, I have a guide or someone watching me, because I can't just go on my own.

As I was flying, I remember seeing the huge windows and the angels talking to each other. Each one had a colorful rob on. One even had a huge stack of papers with him. As I continued to fly around I went under or in a building and inside it was like a super mall! Full of gold and perhaps yellow lights. Tons of levels and angels everywhere just working. I remember seeing it and how in love I would be in huge places like that on earth. Now I know why, because it reminds me of home.

I wanted to take control of the flying and as I dipped down I willed myself to the left and had to use my hands to keep myself from crashing into the marble wall. I literally scaled up the wall a bit to continue flying.

I look down and saw two angels talking to each other. They both had different colored robes on, one with a brown/maroon color and I forgot the other one. They both had brown wavy shoulder length hair. They were both gorgeous as hell just like the classic depictions of angels, yet they both lacked wings. In fact, I didn't see a single pair during my trip!

 At that time I knew archangel Michael was around because I just had him on my mind. It was like he was there with me. So I assumed that one of the angels was him and turned around and made a landing. Again the experience was so real and alive, I just can't believe it. I felt the force of the landing and had to take quick steps to prevent myself from falling. Then when I looked closer at the angel knew it wasn't Michael.

I looked ahead and wanted to go back outside. I remember seeing two younger angels chasing after me in a light hearted way. I wanted to make an exit before they could reach me. I saw the door, it was fancy like a hotel door. Even the bronze door handle was crafted in a exquisite way. I remember grabbing the door and opening it, I could see the outside behind another pair of doors. Then just like that I faded into the dark, as if I got "disconnected" and woke up.

-----

This is probably by far the very best experience I ever had. Everything that I worked for spiritually and about finding about who I am was somehow conformed in this short trip to heaven. Now I know that I'm in fact an incarnated Seraph angel (will explain in a later post) living yet again in a human body. 

Not only that, but remembering from childhood or even when I was just a few years old, the "feeling" of what heaven and angels are like was completely validated! It was like I never left and that connection stayed strong no matter what happened to me.  

My yearning for my home was satisfied and I feel so blessed that the angels (and probably Archangel Michael that initiated this) gave me that wonderful feeling again! But I'm sure this wasn't just for leisure, as you can tell from the beginning of the dream I had to be brave and strong. If for a second I went back into my more fearful mind set I probably wouldn't be able to fly or even believe I could do it. My bravery towards the tidal wave grant me the strength to say "I'm not going to run, but fly!" and in a moments time I felt that specialness, that true power that I had in myself, totally untapped and in my control and faith! 

Even after the experience, I woke up as if I was in a deep 8 hour sleep (I was asleep for less then an hour). The immense details of the dream started to fade almost immediately, and after I got up to type this down I contracted a headache, something that never happened to me before. But it only tells me further that what I experienced is not only real but deep and immense.

It's obvious that my brain simply can't handle the level of realty that I was in. The detail, the experience itself is something so far beyond what I'm normally used to that my brain has a hard time keeping up with it. Which is probably way I contacted a headache in the first place.

Later that day when I went to stretch my body, I pulled two of my back muscles, right down my shoulder blades. When I felt where the pain was, I was surprised to find that those areas is where angel wings (even my own) grow from! I can say that I never pulled those muscles before, or at least that I can remember (which hurt a LOT). I'm not sure what happened during my trip but it triggered something physically from which I can remember it by.

Hopefully, through reading my story and experience, it would trigger or even inspire you to explore the angel kingdom. So that maybe you can find a bit of yourself and finally take off and fly like I did. :)

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

The Crystal Code: My Divinity

Ice stock photo by Fotogrph

 This is the crystal code I done about my clarification ability that I mentioned in my last post: The Truth About Speaking My Own Truth 

There might be things that don't make sense because I never mentioned a lot of the spiritual journey that I went through in the last year. I'm actually going to start posting those stories so you all can see how everything came together for me along the way! Till then, enjoy and I do hope that maybe you can get a glimpse of your own purpose and power through my reading and experience!

The crystal code: My divinity (5/19/2012)

Q: Tell me about this power. What does it do and how can I learn to understand it?

The crystal code:

spiritual green/brown, bright cerulean blue crystal

What do those colors mean?

This is my own power that I gain a long time ago before I was born. However, I was just gaining access to it because I was spiritual enough to tap into it. That and my own abilities to seek out information has grown considerably.

I sense that this power was in me all this time and I'm just scratching the surface on what I can do with it. All of my power came from far away and is not of this world, though it may feel like it. In time, more of my abilities will start to come into fruition and I can claim my powers once again. But for now, I have to let my powers come to me instead of fighting to get them. Fighting my growth will never bring me my powers but hinder it in the long run.

Again, this power is not just of me but the many personas that I created over my spiritual life time, and most recently my angelic roots. I feel that I'm a gate keeper of some sort and my job was to protect many things from human eyes (thus the cathedral thing).

It says since I know of this power (the power I am keeping from people) I was able to come down here and finally share it then keep it hidden. But the more I let myself sink into my own despair about what I could and couldn't do, the more veiled my own knowledge became, and thus was kept from myself.

That is why now I'm gaining the abilities that I have been gaining for years. I can tap into my roots and my guides to receive the power that I stationed there. It was all because of my purpose, I didn't want to just come down here with everything, I wanted to learn as well, and I can't learn if I had all the answers right from the start. So I decided to keep my powers hidden for me to discover them when it was time. Not for my hard work, but for experience, time, and ultimately for the world I was sent to protect and enlighten.

------

I took a food break and wrote my personal thoughts about the crystal code afterwards.

As I was fixing my food, I was thinking about what I wrote. Initially, I didn't know what to think, I didn't disbelieve it but something inside had my wheels turning, like consciously I wasn't sure but subconsciously I knew and I was trying to process it. It does makes sense.

I felt that my cathedral (or cathedrals in general) have a completely different purpose in heaven (I feel heaven goes by a different name it begin with a T or a C). Where on earth they are used to praise "god" in heaven (I need to know the real name it's driving me bonkers now) they are like treasure chests, and in treasure chests there is always something valuable inside. Whatever was inside is very important to everyone (whomever that may be) and my duty there was to keep it safe. But now it's time to share it to everyone (whatever that means).

Then the archetype of being a way shower or a "gate" that was used for me before. That cathedral, I'm exactly that, a gate, a way to go to the other side (of what I don't know). What was told to me, that I would be a gate for the future generations completely ties in now, and the reason I was born a crystal child trailblazer. I'm here not for the "children" but the world, the world that is coming (2012?) and somehow I have this deep ominous twist, desire, and tie to it that I can't explain.

Which ties into my prophecy I was shown and the visions I was shown. I am going to be the princess of the new world after the next great shift, my feelings of pushing the world into a new way, the gate concept where people have to go through me to enter this world as kryon/ ascended masters said to me. It all ties in and makes so much sense.

Not to mention the learning aspects of my life, the biggest challenges and strives I had to make, I had to learn, it was never given to me at all. And I know it's because I made it that way so I could learn for myself and remember it always.

This is all so crazy because at the end of the day it all makes sense. I'm getting information that I would only be able to reach when I was truly "enlightened" where all the answers would be in the back of my pocket. Now, that knowing is right here for my taking and I can access anything I wish, just like before, before I came down here. Wherever I was, I had this ability, this tuning into anything in the universe, like a cosmic map of the entire universe, there was nothing I couldn't know because I had the core power to do so.

Also, whatever this power or knowledge is that I was protecting, it's so important to so many or even to "god". I can't explain why it's important but I feel that only I could use/protect it in a way. And why the angels/entities look at me in the way they do. They probably remember be for who I was then what I am now.

And again this is probably why I gotten the name "The Crystal Code" when I woke up. Because in a sly way, it is a code. Something for me to detect and read where other's can't pick up or explain.

Again, this ties into my number 1 life path number and my numerology chart altogether. I'm am here to lead something, to be a gate or a way shower to something, but it's not by pushing the world by my own hands but being a door/gate where people can see me and chose to enter or not.

This would explain my love for keys and locks, crowns and so on.

-----

Continuing the code

The reason why I chose to come down here because as a gate, I was the only one that can carry out the code, the way, and the gate to the new thought. It's my job to know where I came from and why I'm here, and the reason why the angels look after me so closely. Even though I want to hide from it, my specialness is ingrained, it's not a generic thing or something that I lose after I'm gone.

My aura, my radiance is still in tact with my old spiritual body, and why people can sense that "different" feeling from me because I am. No matter how much I try to hide it, I can't be normal by any standard, even though I hide it with tricks of the mind I can only know that I am who I really am. And that my life purpose is dependent on how much of me I really am striving to be.

The more I run from my destiny the more depressed I'll be about it. Hiding away is not the answer but facing it dead on where everyone can see, that is my purpose to be a way shower so people know what kindness and a new world can look like if they done the same.

The knowledge from above has to be grounded here for the world to come no matter who says what. I know this consciously but I refuse to let it in because of my mortality. My fear of death comes form not fulfilling my duty, not because of my lack of knowledge of the other side. Even so, I have to put aside my fears and replace them with light, so that in the face of fear, I know exactly what I'm going to do and how I will do it. Being afraid isn't my journey but a lesson, a lesson to be brave, bold and straight forward. The more bullheaded I become the less greatness I can exude.

When I was in heaven, I chosen gifts that will aid in my heavenly journey. Those gifts would then be with me for life. I however let my powers die down so I can learn how to be human first. It's not my job to be the best right now. My best comes from being who I am, not coping someone's style.

I get that when I am who I am, I shine. But the language of other's disapproval is what keeps me down again and again. Being who I am requires strength that no matter who says what I will prevail. My journey does not involve being approved by anyone. The most approval I need is from myself and the universe which I already have.

The angels already know my path and what will come of it but I still have yet to see the great change that will come from this world. Even if it is deadly I have to accept the times and consequences that I made to come here. No matter what, what I do for this world is dependent on me and me only.

When I put aside my petty need to be liked and adored I will see that my ways have been set in stone for eons. To show people a way to be, but not to be pushed there, to gain knowledge though strength, not struggle, and to know who I am from being me, not copying someone that I like and adore.

My purpose and path is forever endowed in me and when I release the pains and struggles of the world and myself I can shine my light and knowledge to all that wants it. And anything less then that is not only wasting my time, but prolonging the change of the world that is yet to come.

 Fear not because it will be okay, I planned this along with many others and so we now have each other's backs to control the future, to ensure safety, and to finally bring something that has yet to touch this world in a very long time.

One thing however. I need to stop caring about how my stories sound. I need to take responsibly of how I think and feel and stop placing the blame on the people that may not like it. That is not the reason I'm here. This reason alone keeps me from reaching my full potential. When I let go and let god, only then can I unlock everything about anything. I want it but I first must let go of the need to be the best because in truth I already am the best of being myself and being who I am right now, at this moment.

The goddesses wanted to talk to me about what the crystal code said.

Focused intention (Diana)

She's saying that my concerns about being adored is a silly one. I have to approve of myself fully before I can expect anyone else too. She says to keep the faith and don't let anyone get in the way of being who I really am. I have her support in everything I do!

That and I have to watch how I feel about myself in relation to others because it might be I don't accept who I came down as, then what other people tend to believe.

Prosperity (abundantia)

She says that being who I am will grant me all of my wishes because I am a way shower and a powerful being of light. I grant my own wishes without knowing them and I can do the same for others if they ask. All I have to do is believe in my own power of manifesting and letting the universe take care of the rest!

Bodies of water (sulis)

In time I will grow into a more powerful being but I must learn to put aside the petty doubts that I create about myself. Even if people don't believe you they are not the people you where here to protect. The people that will want to be your follower will come naturally. Like a river, people can chose to step into it and be swayed by it while others walk through it. The river doesn't chose people whom it wants to take, it's up to the person. So take it easy and remember who you are because the way you are now is the person you were meant to be.

Lastly, take care of yourself spiritually. Getting down to the root to your problems proves great awards so don't forget to address your spiritual and emotional needs.

Mother earth (Mawu)

She says that the great mother is calling me back to her. To ground myself in her so I can be fearless in what I am doing. It's not only my job to enlighten and protect the people but the earth as well. When I connect to the earth, wonderful things can happen!

The Truth About Speaking My Own Truth

Have you ever had trouble speaking your truth? Did you ever had to chew down your words, hide your opinion or not share what's really on your mind? And this isn't just about "how you feel about something" but how you feel about yourself, your own truth and wisdom about something that you may be going though. Maybe you feel that the people around you won't get it, people will think you're crazy or even get a negative response from others about your own feelings.

Maybe it's not about what other people think that scares us, but what we think about ourselves about speaking our truth.

We often  place the blame for others that "we can't speak our truth" when it's ourselves that don't let us speak our own truth.

Since overhauling my life and discovering more and more about myself in all ways, my need and desire to speak my own truth have become a blessing and a challenge. Accepting who I am as a soul and spirit has been the hardest challenge I had to face on my own, simply because I don't let myself fully believe.

When I say that, I go "Of course I believe!" but do I really? All the wonderful things that the angels said about me and the beautiful picture of grace that I felt for myself, is that truly who I am, or something I simply want to put faith in? What will other's think about these stories, this magical journey (laced with frustration and struggle) and life that I keep from others? As much as I want to share them, my inner child wants them hidden, out of fear from both sides of the field. From both being ridiculed and falling in love with the magic she fears that might not be true.

I often wonder what people will think, but it's not about what people think but what I think. I want to go bat shit crazy with my ideas, concepts and creativity only to be halted by my own fears.

Fear has it positive uses, I know that, but I'm using fear as an excuse to not be who I am fully. To hide myself again from my own beauty, something that the angels never kept from me. If I was half as bold as them I would probably be on T.V because of the insane stuff I would share, but I don't, out of fear and I have to break that cycle.

My journey have taken me to places in myself that I couldn't imagine going. Day after day more and more of myself becomes unveiled to me, making me a stronger more confident person. I get a bigger glimpse of my purpose and why my life has been the way it has. And then of course, I ask the tougher questions. My past life, not on earth but in divinity. Where does that tie in? Who was I before I came down here? Why did I decide to leave, really? The books, information and articles I read makes sense, but I'm always left with more questions because I want to know my own personal reasons and how they are tied to the various things I was shown.

I probably know a lot more about my spiritual self then a lot of other folks that are looking for it, and I should be thankful I have such heavy ties with my heavenly and cosmic bothers and sisters. I can't help but to know who I am fully, the pieces I was shown are awesome in nature but always leads me to more questions.

Did I come from heaven, am I an incarnated angel, fairy or goddess? Did I directly come from source then placed in a body? How does that tie into being a crystal child? What was my duties before I came here? How exactly am I suppose to change the world? So many questions with so many pieces that leads to even more questions.

What am I suppose to do with this information? Share it? What happens if I do? What will people think? Will I scare off people? How will this effect me and my personal life?

Those are the core questions that comes up to me daily when I think about "expressing who I really am"...

All in all however, no matter who or what happens in my path... It's up to ME to fully believe in what I'm shown and do something with it. I can say that just knowing what I'm shown isn't enough. It just doesn't feel right "hiding" it as opposed to "not sharing it". I know the difference, and it's between truly not caring what other people think and being afraid of outside opinions.

Today (5/19/2012) I decided to do an aura reading (that I'm now calling "The Crystal Code" I'll explain in a later post) where I asked about my clarification and what it "really" is. Honestly, I don't think it's clarification but a different kind of power that I can use as clarification so I was curious about the true nature of my power.  

I was given an immense journey about my angelic roots, my duties and the reasons why I came here. Everything was so unbelievable that I didn't know what to think, but in the back of my mind it all made complete sense. It ties into everything I've been shown and only shined a brighter light on my purpose and the reasons for being here.

The reading itself came to be 4 pages so I'll post it on it's stand alone post, though it probably would make less sense to the outside because I never explained my other stories about "who I truly am". In any event, it just shows more that I'm here to share something and not hide it, to show my true colors not dull them and to be a way shower for others.

It's becoming clearer and clearer that the more I run away from myself the more backlash I'm going to feel because I do crave to expresses those wonderful things. That being my superself means being all of me and not just the parts people will like. I have to take risks because without them how can I truly be an inspiration to anyone? Playing it safe in this world does nothing but make life boring, but taking action on what you love and know makes things interesting, different and alive. I want to be that, not a complete hermit that's too afraid to come out and shine.

No matter who or what is said about me, I have to realize that it's not about them, it's about me and it's always has been. I just thought it was about other people because I wasn't only afraid what other people might think, but what I felt about it, or if it was even true.

No one wants to be made fun of or to look like a fool. But most history changing people went through that and they didn't for a second give up on what they believed in, even when things got physical. So why do I choose to stay in the dark when so many others lit the path for me?  

I know the reason and I'm going to do my best to stop that excuse, because when the rubber meets the road my purpose is solely depended on how much of myself I choose to share. Even if I tell myself it's not, it is, hands down. I let myself fail and be less then I chose to be for long enough.

My destiny isn't in the hands of others but in my own. And I have to remember that.

Till next time

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

Clarification: How I Discovered That I Could Smell Colors!

The day I discovered I could smell colors was a pretty special one. Not because anything over the top happened, but it shows how clearing myself and stepping into my own true power really made me a more powerful being of light.

A little back track first, about a month after I discovered how to channel angels and guides, I was greeted by a random angel that was in the bedroom that actually introduced me to aura reading. That night I was wondering if there was any angels in the room, when I let my hand get limp I've gotten a sign that yes, there was an angel by me.

Upon further inspection this angel was on "vacation" from her duties and found her way to me by from the light I was radiating. She mentioned that it was the brightest in the neighborhood. When I asked for a name she decided to choose "Sonia" the author of the book I was reading at the time. After a bit of talking I learned that she was a psychic angel and I don't remember if I asked or she mentioned it, but I learned that she could read auras and I asked about my own.

I'm quoting this since I was writing everything down of what she said:

 Pink is a special color. I can see auras well, that's what I was made for. Pink means... It's hard to explain... People aura colors change into one another. Some colors you don't see often like gray, black which is really bad but pink not sure of any other color.

- What does pink mean? (Pink is my all time favorite color)

Pink is a really rare color for one and very special and good. It like a hero, demigod, grand destiny.

After that I had her draw my own aura and even done the same for some of my friends and family. From what I could tell they were pretty accurate. Me and Sonia hang around each other for a few days. On one of the last days she coached me on how to see/perceive the aura. The only thing I would get is a random color in my mind's eye, and just a knowing. I only tested it on my own guides that turned out to be dead on (especially now) and just random people on the street. Even though my own guides were giving me positive feedback I wasn't sure if I was right or not. At the time I was keeping my abilities under wraps so I didn't have anyone to test this theory. After a while I stopped trying to see the aura for about 2 or so years.

Fast forward a few weeks back from today after practicing seeing the aura again on and off again for months I watched this color scope reading. Elizabeth has amazing videos so I highly recommend every single one of them!

The reading consisted of three senses: vision, sound and smell that you had to intuitively pick out. I felt drawn to smell and when it came time to talk about the smell sense, she had bottle of essences and oils that she was going to randomly pick out of a bowl. She said to intuitively guess which color she was going to pick out. My mind completely raced and said purple haha! After I calmed myself, got quiet and took a whiff of air and  "smelled" blue. No sooner I did that, she had picked out a rich blue colored bottle, I was floored!

It was so sudden and strange to smell a color but I was dead on and it felt "right". It's like the color just came to me in a way. I wanted to see if I truly had the gift so I decided to test my sense in a few rooms in the house which were all accurate upon looking up the colors I smelled!

The greatest thing that really showed me that I had the gift was doing a reading for my friend Jer and myself. His reading was very in depth, really taking how he felt about his situation and laying it out in front of him. He was "impressed" and so was I, which is saying a lot since it's hard to impressed myself these days lol. When I did a reading for myself I was truly blown away! It took exactly what was going on in the "inside" of me and laid it out for me to read. There was no "not getting it" or a resistance to it, it was all laid out for my viewing pleasure. I couldn't ignore the facts that my clarification grabbed about me.

Since then, I opened my aura readings on the Powerful Intentions forum to further practice and develop my clarification with some stellar reactions!

I couldn't be more happy to discover my ability because with all the plans I have going for myself, this can help so many people! When I was practicing on myself and my personal friend, I can feel the blocks we had and the reasons we had them. I could not only tune into a person's aura and the dominate situation they was in, but completely different levels of the energy body, situations, (sub) conscious, time, and just whatever and whomever I chose.

Even by complete random I smelled my twin flame's aura which was a very romantic lavender. I even gotten the book "Life Colors" and discovered that my two life colors is crystal (didn't see that coming LOL) and lavender (the color I secretly wanted!).

With that said, earlier in the post Sonia said that I had a lot of pink in my aura and what it meant. For a very long time I was super uncomfortable sharing what she said to me with anyone, even now. There is only one person I shared that information with, and now I'm sharing it with all the world.

Since that was 2 years ago I'm pretty sure that color changed for me because when I read my own aura, pink never showed up. However, I do feel that there are many levels of energy in the world and in a person so what she picked up was definitely something I'm carrying in me. I also just learned how to channel at that time so that could of been the energy I was in currently, though I feel it's miles deeper then what she explained.

Another thing to consider is that when I felt my higher self for the first time she was a pink angel (in clothing anyway) and had rose colored wings (I have yet to post about it). I'm not sure why she came to me in pink but I know that is a very important color in my life especially since pink is indeed my all time favorite color!

Even when I was doubting what Sonia said about me, I picked up an aura book about a year or so later that told me the same general meaning that Sonia gave me (Pink normally means romance, compassion, love and etc), even some aura sites online have the same general meaning that Sonia gave me. And honestly as far as I can tell she wasn't lying about it. There is a ton of things that I never mentioned before that completely ties into that pink aura concept. I'm hoping to be able to share those stories really soon!

Even though what she said made feel good and made sense, I was really reluctant about it after awhile. It made me more timid and afraid to share myself fully to the world because of the possible negative backlash I might get for it. I love being different, but being told I was "special" (in more ways in one over the last 2-3 years) can be really taxing to a human soul.

However, since I've been facing my demons about the issues about myself, I'm a lot more willing to let my hair down and show exactly who I am without the fear that someone may not like it! With that said, you might hear some pretty amazing yet whacked out stories, concepts and basically the whole nine from me from now on haha!

I hope this answers the questions you all had about me discovering my ability!  

Till next time! :) 

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥

The Power of Contentment And Wisdom

A lot of things have been happening lately in my life. A lot of things that truly revealed my "true self" in a lot of ways that I didn't think was possible. Then again, when I think I found my true purpose, or think I know everything about myself I get smacked with even greater insight.

This started a few weeks ago, shortly after the dream about my twin flame. I've gotten a new resolve about life and I started to change things around for myself. Like getting leaner, stronger, getting back to my creative activities and overall focusing on myself a lot more than just working on my angel card business.

I love my angel cards but when push comes to stove, I've been putting to much time promoting them and trying to make sales. I would love to see my business boom or grow a lot quicker but I'm seeing now that a lot more important things have to be made and learned before I can get the success that I want.

In the short time where I've gained what seems like a life time worth of wisdom, I see why all the things that happened to me was there in the first place. I have a greater calling that I couldn't have even imagined and the universe wants me to be prepared to do what I need to do.

A short few months back, I would get angry that all of my hard work never gets returned. I preach the all too common theme "When you follow your bliss money will follow" but when I look at myself I often feel that I'm running in circles. There is a lot I want out of my life, and a lot of what I'm currently in is simply what I do not want. If I believed I could move out and live the life of my dreams simply because I "believed" I could, then way was I shown so much pain and resistance? Why haven't the universe grant me what seems like a pretty simple wish already?

Simply put, my life path and purpose isn't about "insert ideal living situation"

That doesn't mean that I'll never get what I want but I'm being "prepared" for something. The true goals that I set out before I was born.

Last week, when I was reading the latest book I brought "The Three Waves of Volunteers and the New Earth" I was shown a lot more then I could ever imagine a book could. The book is full of transcripts of people under hypnosis during past life regressions. These past lives are different because these people explain lives from other planets and even consoles that watch over entire galaxies including Earth. The book explains why the world is going to hell and how special souls from all around the universe have volunteered to save it. I suggest if you really want a book that will hold no punches on the light worker theme, this is it.

What I love about the book is that the three waves of volunteers are explained, and you see how the person's problems stems from deep inside, beyond just Earth. When you read the transcripts from beginning to end, you'll come out knowing a little bit more about yourself. 

This book hit me especially hard when it came down about how the new Earth is suppose to come in. I won't explain it here because I think it's better for the person to read it straight from the horses mouth. It's what people would deem "negative" and I hate linking 2012/new earth/whatever the hell is suppose to happen to negativity. Plus, I don't think it helps when people feel hopeless about the future because of how grim it sounds. The whole thing made me very emotional but that is where my greatest growth came from. It's from knowing that everything that ever happened to me, both good and bad, was completely for my benefit and future. A chance to change things for the better!

I considered the last 12 months a sure miracle, and I don't use that word often. The last 12 months have been SO INTENSE in positive and negative ways, but I gained so much wisdom because of it. Knowing how fragile life really is, how big our universe is, how so many influences run across our lives really made me put things into perspective. There are a ton of things that I truly hate (or severely dislike) about my surroundings, but in the last month or so, I can honestly say that I'm a lot happier about it.

 I'm pretty damn content, and it's not the "gratitude = abundance" logic either, I'm honesty really content. I don't expect my life to start getting perfect because of my "mindset". But, I'm very aware about how things work which is a lot more useful and a sure fire way to change my own life when its time. 

Actually being content and truly seeing how I really do have everything I need really puts a tear in my eye. I still want the things that I want, but I'm not comparing my ideal life with the one I'm currently living. Which goes into my business statement from before, yes, I want to have a successful business but the lessons, wisdom and knowledge I'm currently gaining is what's MOST important. If I did have all the success that I wanted and not learned what I did in the last month (due to all the work) I wouldn't have known what I do now. Knowledge is truly power! 

It only makes me more grateful that I don't get as many sales because I'm doing so much for myself now, and that I understand its role in my life. I'm not stomping around wondering why my life isn't working. Those feelings of really wanting success did come back today, but I cleared myself so now I'm back on track! I look around in my life and see that my happiness doesn't come from a successful business, but doing what I love, and I can say that I do a lot of things that I love. So much that I don't do anything and I get pissed about it haha! 

I guess it's all a matter of perspective because I've been on the other side of the fence before, but the only difference was my knowledge (or lack of). I am able to see what I do now because of the struggle, the wanting and everything that was going wrong. My wanting of understanding my life, and trusting the universe to give me the answers right when I needed them proves so much more worthy then any other method you can imagine! 

With that said, I feel like my "learning period" or the school of sorts will soon be over (with of course more lessons to learn after wards!) Maybe my life will take that lovely turn like you read in the testimonials of your favorite spiritual teacher. One day the person has no clue what they are doing, after they met this spiritual teacher things just start coming together lol. I always wanted that to happen to me, but it wasn't in my path (or pockets lol) to be relived of all my problems. I had to learn it myself and use it to make my own life better, and in turn I can use that method to help many others! 

So I'll end it here, a lot has been happening lately but this was only the tip of the ice berg! I just wanted to share what I learned and hopefully someone out there can take a piece of it and make their lives a little better! 

Take care all!

Lightworker Angel reading April 2-8, 2012

Hey everyone!

I'm going to try out a special new kind of angel reading, where I give messages to specific groups of lightworkers like indigo, crystal children/adults, earth angels and etc. This was pretty much done on a whim and I decided to relax a bit more in my videos and let my dorkyness shine!

Even if you're not a lightworker, these messages can still mean something to you, they are not limited to just "lightworkers" it's for everyone that finds them inspiring, helpful and true to them.

This week's reading I'll be focusing on these groups (in order of the video) crystal children/adults, indigo starseeds, and finally nature loving people (incarnated fairies and etc)

For the crystals this is the time to sit down and write out new ideas and TAKE ACTION on them. For the indigo starseeds, you've missed a step along your current progress so you must back track and find what's been missing. That will be the key if something is not working for you or you feel stuck currently. Finally, our nature lovers have been bogged down to the earth with negative energy. Ask he angels to cut your cords and lift that energy off you. So that you can go about your day without tuning into the negativity of the world.

For everyone that's in listening range, JUST HAVE FUN! Life is too short to be bogged down by the coulds, woulds, and shoulds! Also, it helps lift your energy to really high places where it's easier to be in focus of your true loving goals!

Thank you everyone for listening and watching!

All New Card Readings And Prices!

Hey everyone! I'm just making a quick post showing you all the new card readings and prices that I just switched over yesterday! If you always wanted a reading from me there are many options and price points to chose from now!

The brand new card readings that are now available includes the Divine Kingdom Readings. You get three cards of any deck that I have for only $12.95! These readings are insightful, positive, detailed and empowering! You can ask for any kind of guidance and the divine will see you through it faithfully in the cards. You can check my "Deck and Spreads info" page to see information on each deck and Divine Kingdom.

Also, the new Mini Readings are now available for only $1.50! These readings are about a small paragraph of what you need to hear most at this moment. They are quick, easy, positive and just as insightful as my full size readings (just fun size)! You can even get one to see how your day or even week is going to go!  :D

General card readings, find out what the angels want to tell you!

♥      1 Card Reading  $5

♥      2 Card Reading $10

♥      3 Card Reading $20

♥      4 Card Reading $30

♥      Mini Reading   $1.50

The All New Divine Kingdom Readings!

A three card reading straight from the different realms and entities from around the universe!

♥      Archangel Michael Reading 12.95

♥      The Archangel's Reading 12.95

♥      The Magical Unicorns Reading 12.95

♥      The Magical Fairies Reading 12.95

♥      Archangel Raphael Reading 12.95

♥     The Goddesses Reading 12.95

♥ The Ascended Master's Reading 12.95

♥  Life Purpose Reading 12.95

Unique card spreads for half the price!

Check here to read about each card spread.

♥ Your Guardian Angel Spread                         $25.00

♥ Turn Your Passion Into A Paycheck Spread   $25.00

♥ Cherubs Of Abundance Spread                     $25.00

♥ Fairy Tale Romance Spread                          $45.00

♥ Manifest Your Desires Spread                      $30.00

♥ Your Life Path Spread                            $20

Thank you all for looking and supporting me! Take care!

♥♥♥ Inner Child, The Divine Whisperer ♥♥♥