A lot of things have been happening lately in my life. A lot of things that truly revealed my "true self" in a lot of ways that I didn't think was possible. Then again, when I think I found my true purpose, or think I know everything about myself I get smacked with even greater insight.
This started a few weeks ago, shortly after the dream about my twin flame. I've gotten a new resolve about life and I started to change things around for myself. Like getting leaner, stronger, getting back to my creative activities and overall focusing on myself a lot more than just working on my angel card business.
I love my angel cards but when push comes to stove, I've been putting to much time promoting them and trying to make sales. I would love to see my business boom or grow a lot quicker but I'm seeing now that a lot more important things have to be made and learned before I can get the success that I want.
In the short time where I've gained what seems like a life time worth of wisdom, I see why all the things that happened to me was there in the first place. I have a greater calling that I couldn't have even imagined and the universe wants me to be prepared to do what I need to do.
A short few months back, I would get angry that all of my hard work never gets returned. I preach the all too common theme "When you follow your bliss money will follow" but when I look at myself I often feel that I'm running in circles. There is a lot I want out of my life, and a lot of what I'm currently in is simply what I do not want. If I believed I could move out and live the life of my dreams simply because I "believed" I could, then way was I shown so much pain and resistance? Why haven't the universe grant me what seems like a pretty simple wish already?
Simply put, my life path and purpose isn't about "insert ideal living situation"
That doesn't mean that I'll never get what I want but I'm being "prepared" for something. The true goals that I set out before I was born.
Last week, when I was reading the latest book I brought "The Three Waves of Volunteers and the New Earth" I was shown a lot more then I could ever imagine a book could. The book is full of transcripts of people under hypnosis during past life regressions. These past lives are different because these people explain lives from other planets and even consoles that watch over entire galaxies including Earth. The book explains why the world is going to hell and how special souls from all around the universe have volunteered to save it. I suggest if you really want a book that will hold no punches on the light worker theme, this is it.
What I love about the book is that the three waves of volunteers are explained, and you see how the person's problems stems from deep inside, beyond just Earth. When you read the transcripts from beginning to end, you'll come out knowing a little bit more about yourself.
This book hit me especially hard when it came down about how the new Earth is suppose to come in. I won't explain it here because I think it's better for the person to read it straight from the horses mouth. It's what people would deem "negative" and I hate linking 2012/new earth/whatever the hell is suppose to happen to negativity. Plus, I don't think it helps when people feel hopeless about the future because of how grim it sounds. The whole thing made me very emotional but that is where my greatest growth came from. It's from knowing that everything that ever happened to me, both good and bad, was completely for my benefit and future. A chance to change things for the better!
I considered the last 12 months a sure miracle, and I don't use that word often. The last 12 months have been SO INTENSE in positive and negative ways, but I gained so much wisdom because of it. Knowing how fragile life really is, how big our universe is, how so many influences run across our lives really made me put things into perspective. There are a ton of things that I truly hate (or severely dislike) about my surroundings, but in the last month or so, I can honestly say that I'm a lot happier about it.
I'm pretty damn content, and it's not the "gratitude = abundance" logic either, I'm honesty really content. I don't expect my life to start getting perfect because of my "mindset". But, I'm very aware about how things work which is a lot more useful and a sure fire way to change my own life when its time.
Actually being content and truly seeing how I really do have everything I need really puts a tear in my eye. I still want the things that I want, but I'm not comparing my ideal life with the one I'm currently living. Which goes into my business statement from before, yes, I want to have a successful business but the lessons, wisdom and knowledge I'm currently gaining is what's MOST important. If I did have all the success that I wanted and not learned what I did in the last month (due to all the work) I wouldn't have known what I do now. Knowledge is truly power!
It only makes me more grateful that I don't get as many sales because I'm doing so much for myself now, and that I understand its role in my life. I'm not stomping around wondering why my life isn't working. Those feelings of really wanting success did come back today, but I cleared myself so now I'm back on track! I look around in my life and see that my happiness doesn't come from a successful business, but doing what I love, and I can say that I do a lot of things that I love. So much that I don't do anything and I get pissed about it haha!
I guess it's all a matter of perspective because I've been on the other side of the fence before, but the only difference was my knowledge (or lack of). I am able to see what I do now because of the struggle, the wanting and everything that was going wrong. My wanting of understanding my life, and trusting the universe to give me the answers right when I needed them proves so much more worthy then any other method you can imagine!
With that said, I feel like my "learning period" or the school of sorts will soon be over (with of course more lessons to learn after wards!) Maybe my life will take that lovely turn like you read in the testimonials of your favorite spiritual teacher. One day the person has no clue what they are doing, after they met this spiritual teacher things just start coming together lol. I always wanted that to happen to me, but it wasn't in my path (or pockets lol) to be relived of all my problems. I had to learn it myself and use it to make my own life better, and in turn I can use that method to help many others!
So I'll end it here, a lot has been happening lately but this was only the tip of the ice berg! I just wanted to share what I learned and hopefully someone out there can take a piece of it and make their lives a little better!
Take care all!
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