Since meeting Korea (the pet name I've given my twin), I've changed gears about my
life and whole heartedly decided to completely overhaul it. I want to be thin
and even more healthy so I've been doing my belly dancing exercises 5 times a
week. I'm normally a bit lazy with it because I get bored easily, but this go
round I have a new resolve and I know why I'm doing it! When I first started, I
was so excited to do it, and even on week 3 I still have the drive to get up
from being exhausted to do it, something I can't say I was willing to do
before! I feel the difference in my body and can't wait to get stronger and
leaner because of it.
To my surprise I want to fully embody my girly side. I've
always had a tomboy look and style with maybe a few dashes of girlyness once in
a blue moon. Black, baggy t-shirts, pants, and a pony tail or a bun is
basically what you'll normally see me in. If was "dressing up" you'll
probably see me in a punk/gothic/rave getup which to this day I still love. But
for a while, I wanted to wear more colors, lace, and just girler things.
Even though I don't
look it, I have a huge love for all pink and cute things. I want to show that
side more so that I can express myself in more ways then the "dark/scary/I
don't get a shit" side of life! Sometimes, I want to be loud and stand out
in a bright and colorful way since I love being different no matter what I'm
doing. I've also grown an appreciation for mainstream fashion which I couldn't
care or less before, I'm still not "into it" but I see pieces that I
would love to own! I even want to try my hand (or feet) at wearing heels,
something that I used to despise as a teenager. Overall, I want a new wardrobe
and get rid of the very old clothes that still plagues my drawers. I'll always
have my punk/goth/raver style but I want to expand my everyday style a lot further. I want to look dynamic inside and out!
On the girler note, I want to actually do something with my
long hair. Being African American, I was blessed greatly with long hair that everyone
would always comment on. I never really cared to do anything with it for the
longest time till maybe a few years back. But now, I really want to learn how
to do some hair styles, particularly the hair styles out of my Japanese
magazines. Their hair styles are always so damn cute! That and I want to learn
how to take care of it better then brushing and combing it everyday haha! I was
even thinking of getting it dyed and having bangs but I might have to think
about that more.
I'm so old school that I live by the phrase "If it's
not broke, don't fix it" haha. If however I didn't have to worry about the
cons of dyeing my hair, I would want a light pink, or a brown-red color.
Something that's catching to the eye. I just don't want to have too much
maintenance with my hair. I'm a pretty simply girl so I don't want to
constantly go back to fix the roots and stuff like that. So yeah we'll see
about all that.
There are a couple of other things that I want to do like
whiten my teeth, find more ways to make my skin clear, try my hand at simple
make-up and stuff like that, but overall the reason why I want to do all this
for myself is so that I can finally look like the person that I feel I am!
There is nothing wrong with me now, but a lot of what I'm currently still doing
is pretty much in the past, old or doesn't resonate with me anymore.
At the same time, being and looking my best can only bring
greater things to me including my twin flame. Whenever we do physically meet, I
want him to see me as I see myself, the very best person in the world! Confident,
sweet, radiant, beautiful, giving and just so much more. It's my duty to myself
to love and cherish myself with unconditional love; putting my very best effort
to make myself shine shows how much I care about my body, inside and out!
Now, I want to come out of my shell more and really show
what I'm made of. I'm beautiful now with a beautiful personality, but now it's
time to really put forth the effort to take care of the body that I came in
with. Make it shine, radiant and healthy! Hell, I want to show it off too on
the beach and anywhere I go because I'm so proud of it and my effort!
This is just the beginning of my life overhaul journey but I
can say that it's starting off quite well!
Thank you all for reading and I hope it inspires you to
become your best self!
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